Episode 16: Halfway point of the NBA season

Welcome to the Inaugural post to The Brown Revolution blog. After a mutual breakup with the Steadyblogger collective at philaflava.com (actually, I was unceremoniously dumped by Gloss because he hates brown people), I have decided to spread my wings and fly on my own. I have brought all my old blogs in the past and posted them here for the viewing of my many fans. Some will read them and shout with glee. Many will recoil in terror (I am brown....terror is my specialty apparently). A quick overview on what I write about: everything but mostly sports. A lot of sports. Cats end up ODing with the amount of sports I will throw at you. Also, if you are Jewish, you'll probably hate me the more you read these blogs. If you are white, you will hate me less but nonetheless hate me. Anyways, today's blog is basically me dropping knowledge on the first half of the NBA season. Hardware will be handed out and my picks for what the All star team should look like.

The Brown Western Conference All Stars:
PG- Steve Nash
SG- Kobe Bryant
SF- Kevin Garnett
PF- Dirk Nowitzki
C- Tim Duncan

Bench- Josh Howard, Shawn Marion, Amare Stoudemire, Deron Williams, Carlos Boozer, Tracy McGrady, Allen Iverson

-Holy guacamole, the starting lineup looks like a who's who of MVP candidates. If you look at the bench, some of these guys could start on the East team. Heck, some of the players I left off (Yao Ming, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, Zack Randolph) could start on the East team. I left off the first three players because of injury issues. I left off Zach Randolph because he plays on the Jailblazers. No, really, I left off Zach Randolph and Elton Brand because of the numbers game. There are too many good big men in the West and not enough spots to give out to the players. Yao Ming is actually a top 3 player according to John Hollinger's player efficiency rating.

EDIT: Now that it seems that Boozer is injured, you can make room for Carmelo on this team especially because of the other candidates next on the list, he has the best #s.

Eastern Conference:
PG- Gilbert Arenas
SG- Dwyane Wade
SF- Lebron James
PF- Chris Bosh
C- Dwight Howard

Bench- Michael Redd, Jason Kidd, Jermaine O'Neal, Emeka Okafor, Chauncey Billups, Caron Butler, Ben Gordon

-The East is terrible. I almost put Eddy Curry on this team. That's how bad the East is. Honestly, nothing more needs to be said.

NBA 6th Man:
1. Ben Gordon
2. Leandro Barbosa
3. David Lee

-As of now, Gordon owns this award for best supersub however he is beginning to start games for the Chicago Bulls. He is scoring lights out and is one of the best 4th quarter basketball players in the NBA. Barbosa's been awesome for the Suns as their only reliable sub off the bench. He's actually finished more games then Raja Bell has. BTW, when do we begin the countdown to when Leandro Barbosa does the one name thing like other Brazilian athletes? And wouldn't you want to be Leandro during the offseason? One of the NBA's top 50 ball players, he must be a huge celebrity in Brazil.....and as the legendary Nas says:

Grindin, hittin Brazilian dimes from behind
Grindin, hittin Brazilian dimes from behind

Anyways, David Lee's player efficiency rating is actually better then both Gordon and Barbosa. However, 2 things are working against Lee. 1) He plays for the Knicks. 2) If Nash or Nowitzki wins MVP, the white guilt will be too much for the writers.

Most Improved Player:
1. Kevin Martin
2. Andris Biedrins
3. JR Smith

-You're probably asking yourself "where the hell is Josh Howard?" Even though he is the popular pick for Most Improved Player, the fact of the matter is, did he improve more then the three players listed above? Kevin Martin's PER improved by 6 points. Biedrins improved by 4 points as did JR Smith. Meanwhile, Josh Howard only improved by 2 points. It's a lot but not more then the aforementioned players. Honorable mention shout out goes to Luke Walton. He's looked good this year, no homo.

Defensive Player of the First Half:
1. Emeka Okafor
2. Shawn Marion
3. Marcus Camby

Even though he plays for the Bobcats, Okafor has been the most impressive defensive player I've seen this year. He can singlehandedly turn a team into a jumpshooting ballclub. His timing and help defense are impeccable and his ability to guard post players one one one is very good as well. Shawn Marion is one of the more underrated ball players in the NBA. He always guards the opposing team's best forward and comes up with his fair share of steals and blocks. For Camby, it's just been buisness as usual this year. If you go into the lane against Denver, it's either sent into the stands or you are changing your shot. Thousands of Denver fans are praying that he doesn't break a limb before the playoffs.

Coach of the First Half:
1. Jerry Sloan
2. Phil Jackson
3. Eddie Jordan

-Sloan is always one of the more under-appreciated ball coaches in the NBA. Every year everyone disregards his teams as too vanilla. But every year his teams play hard and smart and make a run at the playoffs. This year experts said they wouldn't sniff the playoffs but they are currently winning their division. Phil Jackson is doing an amazing job with Odom, Kobe, and a bunch of no-namers. And who in the beginning of the year would've told you that Washington would be leading the Eastern Conference at this point in the season?

Rookie of the First Half:
1. Brandon Roy
2. You suck
3. You're even more terrible

-I don't remember a rookie class being this bad. Ever. It's like watching Colin Farrell in Alexander. You knew he was bad, but while watching it, you didn't think he was THAT bad.

NBA MVP:
1. Steve Nash
2. Dirk Nowitzki
3. Kevin Garnett
4. Kobe Bryant
5. Gilbert Arenas

-Steve Nash, believe it or not is playing better ball this year then he did last year. He is the engine that makes the Suns go. Right now, it's between him and Dirk. 5 years ago, if someone would've told you that 2 white guys that weren't born in the US would be the leading candidates for NBA MVP, you would've told him to go back to France, right? It's like having 2 black head coaches in the Super Bowl.....you never really thought it was going to happen. Oh, American cracka ball player, where have you gone?

Comparing NBA Teams and players to Famous People:

Miami Heat :: Osama Bin Laden- Laying in the cut right now but you know sooner or later, they'll make some noise.

San Antonio Spurs :: Heather Locklear- damn, you want to wife this bitch. You think you can go all the way with them. BUT GOD DAMMIT THEY ARE SO OLD, THEY CAN GO DOWN HILL AT ANY MOMENT.

Minnesota Timberwolves :: Vida Guerra- They realize that they only have one great thing going for them.....and in the grand scheme of things, it's not enough.

New York Knicks :: Britney Spears- Worth a ton of money and was good for a few years, but now is a train wreck. Should've divorced that dude a long time ago.

Washington Wizards :: Diddy circa "Bad Boys for Life"- Entertaining and has a good butler. However, you fear they are all flash with little substance.

Chicago Bulls :: Jennifer Aniston- They were the shit in the 90's but were eh in the 2000's....especially after their leading men left. Looking to make a move that'll put them in the forefront again.

Phoenix Suns :: Angelina Jolie- Damn, they look good. Have great leading men. Have kids from other countries. But something just ain't right about them.

Dallas Mavericks :: Seal- You look at them and you're like what? but they sound good and they both got a baaaad German bitch.

Portland Trailblazers :: Lindsay Lohan- too easy?

Utah Jazz :: Cate Blanchett- They are really white but they are also really good. But they ain't winning shit this year.

Houston Rockets :: Rush Hour- Chinese guy is gooooood. But you've kinda always expected more from the Black dude.

NJ Nets :: Nas- was primed to do big things but definitely didn't come through.

and going a bit off topic

Chicago Bears :: Little Miss Sunshine- Very good but not great. You don't know how they've been pulling it off.

Indianapolis Colts :: Martin Scorcese- They've had better years but this year seems to be their year. But we say that every year.