Episode 7: In my mid 20's and I still might get carded

So I'm on my way to the Car Wash, not to wash my car as you might think, but to get my oil changed. I don't know, but there's something about the way they change my oil that really tickles my feathers. I know nothing about vehicles so I let them molest it however way they see fit. Anyways, I'm on the way to the car wash and I'm listening to 105.1 on the radio because sometimes a real G like me does that. That's right. I know the radio is too mainstream and most people are listening to I-pods and albums and all that good stuff and not listening to pop saturated radio but that's what the government wants you to do. So my way of sticking to the man is by sometimes listening to the man. By the way, fuck this I-pod buisness too. How do you know the government isn't secretly working with Apple to tap everyone's I-Pod to see what they are listening to? I know what you're thinking. How is this important? This is just the first step to quelling the revolution. Music, Movies, TV programming, and books are all a way to solicit revolution amongst the common citizens. What better way then to see what these people are listening, reading and watching so later on, the particular items that these individuals are listening to can be eliminated. The FBI already flags every book bought from bookstores and taken out of libaries so I wouldn't be suprised if this was true as well.

Wow, that was a huge tangent. Anyways, I was listening to 105.1 on the FM dial and lo and behold, Big Tigger has taken Star and Bucwild's place on the morning show routine. First off, let me say that he's eh. But that's not the point of this blog. NO SIR. The point of this blog is something that Mr. Tigger informed me about during his very average morning radio show. STD cards. Yes. You heard right. STD cards.

Now, I know what you might be thinking. "Gregg, what in Jupiter's red spot is a STD card?" I'll tell you what it is. The end of actual courtship in the modern era as we know it.

WHAT?!?!

Yes, it's true.

As of now, all this is is something that you give to a potential mate. The potential mate calls this toll free number on the card and keys in some jibba jabba that's on the card into the phone and BLAOW!!!! It tells you how long ago you've been recently tested and if you've ever had a history of STDs and all that good stuff. In Illinois and in California, you merely have to obtain the email address of the potential, and you can send them an STD e-card (anonymously if you wish). Now, I know what you're thinking. How is this a bad thing?

I'll tell you this.

How isn't this a bad thing? What happened to actually being honest. OH YEAH!!! I forgot that the whole courting process nowadays revolves around lies and bullshit which is the reason why the divorce rate has more then quadrupled since the 1950's. What about abstinence? LOL J/K THAT ISNT REALLY REALISTIC NOWADAYS, IS IT?!?!

In all actuality, this might be a good thing.

However, my fears is that this might actually lead to the dreaded Number system. Many of my loyal readers might know what the Number system is or know it by a different name. It's basically assigning ourselves and people around us with numbers based on looks, economic standing, etc. Let's try an example. Donald Trump is possibly a 10. He's a good looking guy for an older man (PAUSE THAT NO HOMO) and extremely rich. So he can holla at dimes and nines. However, let's say he wasn't rich.......let's say he was working as a bank teller. He'd probably be a 6...mainly because he wouldn't have a hair stylist hiding his baldness and the Trump arrogance from a bank teller would probably be pretty annoying whereas it's amusing coming from a real estate mogul. He'd only be able to date anyone in the range of 5 to 7. I'm afraid that soon, the government might do this soon to seperate the haves from the have nots.....the good looking from the average from the hideous, etc. We're slowly inching toward a World where the government gives us cards with numbers on it saying we can only date and marry people within a certain range of our number.

Honestly, what's to stop them from doing this, all jokes aside? The government is already starting to take away basic rights that are guaranteed to us by the Declaration of Independence. Look at the country since 9/11. Sure you probably feel safer (though I doubt it). However, do you feel free? Shouldn't we be controlling the Government instead of the Government controlling us?

I know. I went on mad tangents. However, each one of those tangents had a purpose. A purpose swimming in the Atlantic Ocean with a school of other purposes trying to swim away from nasty big game ocean hunters who want to process their carcasses for household products THAT WE REALLY DONT NEED. Just remember the purpose.