The Brown Revolution

Episode 21: Geek vs. Freak at the Movies, Vol. 1: Grindhouse

2007-04-15T16:20:00.000-07:00

Some of you might not know this, but I'm an avid movie watcher. I'll watch almost anything as long as it's an hour and a half or longer. There is something about that format that always gets a rise out of me. So why not write an occasional review once in awhile for the 3-4 of my faithful readers out there?

However, I didn't want my movie reviews to be like every other movie reviews out there. Let's face it, there are two kind of movie reviews out there. Reviews from critics, wannabe critics, artfags, and/or film geeks. Then there are reviews from regular old joe schmoes, fan boys, and every men. Why not put both of them together to give you 2 perspectives in one experience?

Yes, people, this is my brainchild. I present to you Geek vs. Freak at the Movies. As you might've guessed, I'll be the movie freak just telling it how I see it. While I'll handpick a film student/geek/critic every now and then to offset my lack of film knowledge. You'll get the perspective of a knowledgeable movie type a guy and the perspective of just a regular movie goer like myself. Today's geek is a poster at the Philaflava boards named The Drunken Poet. LOL, sounds like a nickname someone from the Wutang Clan might have but this dude knows his stuff since he's a film student. The movie we will be critiquing is Grindhouse, written and directed by Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino.

The Drunken Poet:

The new Grindhouse experience has finally arrived. As a meta-film, Grindhouse can be pretentious and grating, as just a theater-going experience the film can be special.

Rodriguez’s Planet Terror isn’t much different than the action porn he’s been effectively spitting out for the last decade, but this time it’s done with more reckless abandonment than ever before. I mean that in a good way. It’s a zombie action picture film in fast forward, complete with spurting florescent red blood and a sludgy synthesizer score. Writing has never been Rodriguez’s strong suit and the same problems plague him, he still worries more about making his hero look as bad-ass possible as he plunges butterfly knives into head-throbbing zombies, than dramatic structure, but this time around your more willing to give him the free pass. The most tickling moments come from the tough-in-cheek grossness of Josh Brolin, as a sleazy unethical doctor. Planet Terror is one smug action piece but it’s not without it’s own charm. Like Rodriguez’s other works, it wears thin, especially when Tarantino pops up to mug the camera for a bit, but as a homage to Carpenter, Romero, and Fulci, Planet Terror can be a wonderful thing.

In Death Proof, Tarantino utilizes the fact that we’re watching an exploitation film, and uses that shield to get away with anything. It’s no simpler than a car chase film about a psychotic stunt driver hunting sexy girls. His script is far from perfect and stinks of self-indulgence, but it’s a fun little opus. Death Proof’s narrative is fuzzy, the dialogue is lengthy and irrelevant, and the characters are less important than they seem. But there’s something undeniably alluring about watching the foxy Sydney Poetier chatter away to her entourage about weed, men, and classic rock. Stuntman Mike is a charming breed of psychopath and a terrifically original Tarantino creation. QT is having fun, and so are we, waiting for the inevitable over the top climax. By the time, we meet the next set of girls, the setup may feel a bit tired but it’s all worth it to get unforgettable car chase. The conclusion might’ve been even more effective if there were less inside jokes, and more focus on suspense. That being said it’s still quite a spectacle, and the point is not to invest too much brainpower. Even if we’re not getting all of his jokes, it’s still interesting to be caught up in Tarantino’s mind, as he references as much as possible: Russ Meyers, Jack Hill, Monte Hellmann, a slew of 60 and 70s road pictures, and of course, the slasher film. Death Proof is a welcome celebration to pleasure cinema, cramming as much titillation as possible, and leaving the logic locked up in the trunk.

The legendary fake trailers may be the most effective sequence and faithful tribute in the entire film. Not only do they demonstrate the true artform that is the movie trailer, but they are also the closest things to actually resembling the retro B-movie experience. Where Planet Terror and Death Proof eventually succumbs to auteur-ish weaknesses, the trailers are short and strong enough to really nail the joke and leave you wanting more. Edgar Wright’s trailer is particularly brilliant in its mock of the classic British ghost film and the madcap advertising of yesteryear.

QT and Rodriguez had one singular goal to reinvigorate the theater going experience from the glory days of old. And in this era of obtrusive advertising, over-priced food and drinks, and the blitzkrieg of Internet culture, I appreciate their quest. Two film-geeks are reminding us why we went to the theaters in the first place, it was experience you could never get anywhere else. It’s both unfortunate and ironic that the film is turning out to be a box office dud.

Hasib:

In my opinion, a popcorn flick has 4 important elements to it. Let's go over them:

1) Action (if people aren't shooting, getting shot at, stabbing, getting stabbed, fighting, or practicing ninjitsu.....it is not a true popcorn flick.)

2) Gore (if blood isn't a result of shooting, getting shot at, stabbing, getting stabbed, fighting, or practicing ninjitsu.....the popcorn flick is failing miserably.)

3) Hot chicks (I need something to look at during the respite between each action sequence.)

4) Nudity (I need something to look at while I'm looking at these hot chicks.)

Grindhouse knocks all of these elements out the park and more.

First off, let me talk about the faux trailers. The first fake trailer of the movie was "Machete" about a mexican federale that fucks up people with blades, knives, and machetes. DOPE. There was also a trailer called "Don't" which was a mock trailer of old school horror movies. Definitely LOL worthy. However, imo, the two best trailers of the movie were "Werewomen of the S.S." and "Thanksgiving". The former was about the Nazis creating Werewomen in their labs to use them as super soliders in WWII. Appearance by Nicholas Cage as Fu Man Chu puts it over the top. The latter was easily the best trailer imo. It was about a serial killer dressed as a pilgrim running rampant in a town during Thanksgiving. Some gruesomely awesome scenes in this trailer make this one of the greatest trailers I've ever seen.

The first movie that we are presented with is Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror, which is a zombie movie that takes place in West Bumblefuck, Texas. I'll tell you right now, I'm a sucker for zombie movies so I might be a little biased. This movie fucking rocked. Action packed throughout. Also some nice nudity since the first scene takes place at a go go bar. In fact, the opening credits is pretty much Rose McGowan looking sexy and go go dancing. This is ironic because later on in the movie, Rose will have a go go gadget leg. All the popcorn flick elements are here as well as the zombie movie stable of "terrible dialogue". Needless to say, I loved it. Freddy Rodriguez kills it as he's ultra bad ass as El Wray. His kill count almost reaches infinity in this flick as does Rose McGowan after a machine gun is attached to her leg after a zombie eats it off. And honestly, does anyone blame that zombie for running off with Rose McGowan's leg? If I saw Rose McGowan on the street, I'm straight chopping off her right tit with a battle axe and I'm selling it on Ebay. Another nice touch is Rodriguez adding Sayid from Lost into the cast. Affirmative action at it's best right here. In fact, one of the best moments in the movie belongs to Sayid in his last scene in the movie. Overall, this movie gets an A- because I was totally geeked out while watching this movie.

Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof was next. Let me just come out and say it. Tarantino knows how to cast some baaaaad chicks in his movies. If I had a T-Mobile account, then Sydney Tamiia Potier, Vanessa Ferlito, Rosario Dawson (SHAAAAAA-WING), Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and Tracie Thorns would be one of the best 5s of all time guaranteed. Anyways, this movie is basically about Kurt Russell being a bad ass testosterone junky who liked to kill chicks with his car. Great premise for a movie. There are serious feminist undertones in this movie but so what? The chicks is bad ass and hot. Kurt Russell kills his role. Stuntchick Zoe Bell puts in a surprisingly solid performance. The only problem is that the movie gets a little talky at times. However, I feel the sick car chase and the ending super cedes that and makes this a really fucking entertaining movie. I give a B. I would've given it a B+ if there was more Rosario Dawson.

So Grindhouse is a movie that both the Geek and Freak recommend to moviegoers.

Episode 19: Baddest TV Chicks since 2000

2007-03-30T20:45:00.000-07:00

After reading a fellow blogger named Kalel's blog this morning, I took time out of my sports writing to deviate out of the norm. I was in the process of writing my humongous baseball preview but after reading this dude's blog, I had to come with a counter blog. OMFG WTF?!?!? What would warrant me to write a counter blog?

I'll tell you what.

He wrote a blog about who he thought was the top 10 hottest chicks that appear on our TVs once in awhile. First of all, there was no clear set of rules to abide by. So any chick was game. Also, he had some strange picks as to who he decided was a bad bitch. Don't trust a hipster who shaves his eyebrow like a video game character would to do a man's job.

So let me lay out the ground work.

Rule #1- You had to be on TV for a whole season.

Rule #2- Being on TV doesn't mean being in a music video. It also doesn't mean having a promo done on you or being interviewed for TRL, Entertainment Tonight, Extra, The Insider, E!, Best Week Ever, or any other celebrity shows or gossip shows.

Rule #3- You have to be Hot.

On to the list!!!!!

15. Kristen Kreuk
Smallville

-Once you look into her eyes, you are sucked in and you'll never come out. LOL @ being sucked in and never coming out. That wasn't on purpose, I swear.

14. Gillian Anderson
X-Files

-I always had a soft spot in my heart for Agent Dana Scully. She could make a Alien Autopsy watchable. Being redheaded never hurts and she had no problem sticking it to the Man. The Cigarette Smoking Man that is.

13. Jessica Simpson
Newleyweds

-The irony of wanting a dumbo to give me brain. That's not the last corny joke, people. I got more where that came from.

12. Nadia Bjorlin
Days of our Lives

-Thick Iranian piece of ass right heah.

11. Alyssa Milano
Charmed

-Sexy little TV slore that's seen more hard balls aimed at her face then Derek Jeter has when he's up at the plate against the Red Sox.

10. Eliza Dushku
Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Tru Calling

-A bad bitch that kills Evil creatures like vampires with stakes. Similar to me in that I'm a bad boy that kills evil creatures like Jews with AKs and dynamite. We have so much in common! I think I got a shot.

9. Lisa Raye
All of Us

-One of the most slamming chicks to ever grace my TV set.

8. Vanessa Marcil
Las Vegas

-I'd love to wipe that mole of her face. Wipe it off with my, well, you know. I'm trying to keep my blog PG-13. I write my blog for the kids. Cause I LUH DA KIDS. Not in a catholic priest type of way though. I keep it strictly professional like Barney.

7. Jessica Biel
7th Heaven

-Did you see the ass on her? What are parents feeding these white chicks nowadays? Fried Chicken? Shit is unreal. She reminds me of my Jeep, son.

6. Elisha Cuthbert
24

-We need to start a countdown to the day where she takes it all off for playboy.

5. Tiffani Thiessen
Fastlane

-Fastlane only lasted one season but Tiff dominated throughout that one season. The producers of the show was like "let's see how many hot chicks we can get to guest star on our show" and Tiff bodied every single one of em. I wonder if Bill Bellamy tried to get with that. If he didn't, he's gay. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay. I just prefer not to be gay. In my honest opinion, even gay people should try to tap Double T. She's that hot.

4. Kelly Hu
Martial Law, In Case of Emergency

-I don't care what martial arts she knows, I'd most definitely beat that.

3. Brooke Burke
Wild on E!

-I was not watching this show to check out vacation spots. Trust me. This chicks abs after giving birth to like 3 kids is unbelievable.

2. Melyssa Ford
BET Style

-BUILT FORD TOUGH. BECAUSE THIS IS OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUR COUNTRY.

1. Jessica Alba
Dark Angel

There shouldn't even be a question about this. No one watched this sci fi show for it's terrible plot. Flipper was much better then this heaping pile of feces. But I don't watch flipper anymore cause I feel creepy about it. I feel like Chris Hansen is about to walk into my room at any moment and point to my collection of Flipper VHS tapes and start yelling "WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU!?!?" Chill dogg, that's why James Cameron made Dark Angel.

Honorable Mentions: Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives, Young and the Restless), Trish Stratus (WWE), Hayden Pantyhairy (Heroes), Evangeline Lilly (Lost)

Episode 20: Baseball is Back

2007-03-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH BOYYYYYYYYYYY

Baseball is back and I feel invigorated. You know what that means? POPA'S BASEBALL PICKS AND PREVIEW FOR 2007!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's get cracking!!!!

National League West:

1. San Diego Padres

-The Good: The Pitching Staff is great. Maybe the best in the NL. Peavy and Young are Cy Young candidates. Greg Maddux and David Wells are veterans that throw nothing but strikes which could mean good things in that ballpark. Arguably, the best bullpen in the NL with Hoffman, Meredith, and Linebrink leading the way. Adrian Gonzalez is a rising star and Kouzmanoff might be a good power hitter. If Khalil Greene, stays healthy.....he can be good. He's also the first white person to ever be named Khalil for real. Kalel is jealous.......mainly because he's not white.

The Bad: Their hitting is real bad. They need the Giles brothers to hit like they did a couple years ago. Marcus might be able to but Brian might be too old. They are starting Termell Sledge in left field. LOL. They need a solid lefty out of the bullpen.

2. Colorado Rockies

The Good: Their Hitting is terrific. Matt Holliday, Garrett Atkins, and Todd Helton can carry the whole offense. But they might not have to with youngsters like Troy "I'm not Dirk" Tulowitzki and Chris Iannetta in the fold. If Wily Taveras can consistently get on base, this offense can put up some huge numbers. Brian Fuentes is pretty consistent as their closer. Jeff Francis is a competent #1 Starter.

The Bad: Their starting pitching outside of Jeff Francis has the potential to be real bad. Their bullpen outside of Fuentes can be either good or real atrocious.

3. LA Dodgers

The Good: They have an extremely well rounded lineup. They have some good players at the top of the lineup in Rafael Furcal and Juan Pierre, a couple of professional hitters in Nomar, Kent, and Luis Gonzalez, and some nice young players in Andre Ethier and Russell Martin. The top of the rotation is strong with Jason Schmidt, Brad Penny, and Derek Lowe. Saito as the closer last year was lights out and Broxton is a very good set up man.

The Bad: Not much depth in the bullpen outside of Saito and Broxton. Schmidt was inconsistent last year. Penny self destructed in the second half. If starting pitching doesn't pitch up to their ability, they might have to bring future ace Chad Billingsley into the rotation which could potentially make the bullpen even thinner.

4. Arizona Diamondbacks

The Good: The starting rotation is solid with Brandon Webb, Randy Johnson, Livan Hernandez, and Doug Davis. The offense has alot of potential with players like Chris Young, Carlos Quentin, Stephen Drew, Miguel Montero, and Conor Jackson.

The Bad: That bullpen looks awful. Jose Valverde is their closer? Which Valverde will they see? The lights out in the second half Valverde or the Jose that was throwing Valverde cheese in the first half of the season? They are very inexperienced and young in the lineup.

5. San Francisco Giants

The Good: They have a pretty solid rotation in Barry Zito, Matt Cain, Matt Morris, and Noah "Don't mistake me for Mike" Lowry. That alone can keep them in the race. Barry Bonds is looking to hit Home Run 756 this year.

The Bad: Barry Bonds is looking to hit Home run 756 this year. 75% of their lineup can start picking up social security checks right now. In fact, the average age of their lineup is 52. LOL @ Armando Benitez being their closer. They are pretty much inviting teams to beat them in the 9th inning.

National League Central:
1. Milwaukee Brewers

The Good: They have a lot of young talent ready to bust, no homo. Prince Fielder, Rickie Weeks, Corey Hart, and JJ Hardy (lol, only in baseball would you find someone named JJ. Wait. What? There's a basketball player that goes by JJ? He went to Duke? That explains everything) all have some promise. Bill Hall broke out last year meanwhile Geoff Jenkins and Johnny Estrada are professional hitters. Their Starting pitching looks real strong with Cy Young candidate Ben Sheets and solid hurlers like Capuano, Dave Bush (No relation to the president. Millions of terrorists targeting this guy everywhere just all sighed at the same time), and World Series MVP, Jeff Suppan.

The Bad: I don't know how you can look at their bullpen and think that they are going to close out games. Thankfully, everyone else in the division is also questionable in the bullpen. They are also starting Craig Counsell (how does this guy still have a starting job?) at third base.....which isn't that bad considering that he is caddying for Braun.

2. St. Louis Cardinals

The Good: Pujols and Carpenter. Pretty good defensive team.

The Bad: The rest of the team other then Pujols and Carpenter. It seems like they are slowly trying build their team up the middle with Angel retreads like Edmonds, Kennedy, Eckstein and Molina (he played his whole career with the Cards but both his brothers played for the Angels). They are going back to Izzy even after how terrible he's looked? Their starting rotation includes two converted relievers even though Wainwright has some promise.

3. Cincinatti Reds

The Good: They have some punch in the lineup with Adam Dunn, Ken Griffey Jr. if he stays healthy, and Edwin Encarnacion. Ryan Freel is a sparkplug that can play any position. Their top two starters are solid in Harang and Arroyo plus their future ace, Homer Bailey (lol, he's named after two cartoon characters) will be up by mid-season. If Josh "Heroin" Hamilton lives up to the hype, they need to move Dunn to first to make room for him in the outfield.

The Bad: Closer by Committees never work. Reds, did you watch the Red Sox in 2004? Can Brandon Phillips repeat what he did last year? The whole team's batting average is going to suck. They have to Twins retreads in the starting rotation in Milton and Kyle Lohse. At any time during a game, Josh Hamilton can start convulsing on the field from ODing.

4. Houston Astros

The Good: Arguably the best lineup in the NL Central. Carlos Lee is going to feast in that ballpark. He also might feast outside of ballparks in general. He's fat. That's what i'm trying to say. You know how Dids lost all that weight? I think it's slowly getting transferred to Carlos Lee's body. Some kind of Lipsuction Mental Transfer ability. Crazy Tangent. Anyways, Berkman's a beast. Luke Scott and Chris Burke could be sleepers this year. Oswalt is arguably the best starter in the NL.

The Bad: Biggio is still playing even though he looked real bad last year. The guy's an all time great but it might be time to move on. The Starting pitching after Oswalt doesn't look pretty. They need the Rocket in a bad way. Are we going to see Dr. Jekyll Lidge or Mr. Hyde Lidge?

5. Chicago Cubs

The Good: You know how I said that the Astros could have the best lineup in the NL Central? The Cubs can compete with them bat for bat. Everyone knows what Derek Lee, Aramis Ramirez and Alfonso Soriano can do. Michael Barrett is a solid catcher. Carlos Zambrano is Stud and due to make a lot of money as a free agent at the end of the year.

The Bad: Carlos Zambrano is due to make a lot of money as a free agent at the end of the year. Might not be from the Cubs though. I don't know if Soriano leading off is a really good idea. You could use his slugging in the middle of the lineup. Their bullpen is scary bad. Ryan Dempster is a major league closer? I think Kyra Sedgwick would do a better job then Ryan Dempster at being a Closer. Ok, that was my one corny joke about closers.

6. Pittsburgh Pirates

The Good: Jason Bay

The Bad: The Whole team other then Jason Bay. Counting down to the days that Andrew McCutchen makes his debut.

National League East:
1. Philedelphia Phillies

The Good: The heart of this team is Rollins, Utley, and Howard. The Starting rotation is strong with Myers, Garcia, and Hamels and the bullpen looks solid as well.

The Bad: Their 3rd base sitaution has looked abysmal for years. Their OF looks inconsistent. Rowand is a great defensive OFer but will give you little at the plate. Burrell can either be a stiff or a monster at the plate. Philly fans have faith in Victorino. Let's see if he lives up to the hype. If Brett Myers starts wearing wifebeaters in the clubhouse, eyebrows will be raised everywhere.

2. Atlanta Braves

The Good: Well rounded team. Andruw Jones, Chipper Jones, Brian McCann, Jeff Francouer, and Edgar Renteria make up a pretty good lineup. Smoltz, Hudson and Chuck James look like they'll round out a solid starting rotation. Meanwhile the bullpen looks real good as well.

The Bad: Can Kelly Johnson replace Marcus Giles? Did Kelly Kapowski turn down their starting first baseman job? and can Bob Wickman come up with another good year in his fat body? Can Jeff Francouer draw a walk?

3. New York Mets

The Good: Best lineup in the NL. Jose Reyes is the best SS in the NL. David Wright is hella cute. Carlos Beltran is a MVP candidate. Bullpen could be very strong.

The Bad: For a team with World Series aspirations, they have a lot of question marks. The starting rotation has more holes then the jeans in the hipster stores that Symantiks shops at. Their Bullpen already has some question marks going into the season with Duaner Sanchez out for a few months and Mota being suspended for BALCO. The Mets are actually serious about using Burgos out of their pen. No really, it's not a joke. Most of the players on this team shouldn't be playing baseball but should be extras for the sequel to Grumpy Old Men. Their is a solid chance Omar Minaya might trade David Wright for a Hispanic third baseman.

4. Florida Marlins

The Good: When Josh Johnson comes back, their top 4 in the rotation will look very good. Miguel Cabrera is a top 5 hitter in the NL. Hanley Ramirez is a poor man's Jose Reyes.

The Bad: Their OF is in shambles. Their bullpen is atrocious. They are relying on Jorge Julio to close out games for them. Miguel Cabrera is the only accomplished hitter in the Florida lineup.

5. Washington Nationals

The Good: Ryan Zimmerman.

The Bad: The rest of the team. Could be the worst team of all time.

American League West:
1. LA Angels

The Good: Maybe the most well rounded team in the AL. They have good starting pitching with John Lackey, Ervin Santana, Kelvim Escobar, and Jered Weaver. Their lineup is solid with Vlad leading the way. Bullpen is good as well.

The Bad: Other then Gary Matthews Jr.'s hat size being 2 sizes smaller? What can you expect from the guy? What can you expect from Garrett Anderson? Will Jered Weaver revert to Jeff Weaver mode?

2. Oakland A's

The Good: Their pitching is pretty fucking good. Adding Mike Piazza and making him DH was a stroke of genius.

The Bad: I can't see them hitting a damn thing outside of Piazza and Swisher.

3. Texas Rangers

The Good: Teixeira and Michael Young are damn good players. Otsuka is lights as a reliever. Ian Kinsler might be Jewish but he's a damn good ball player.

The Bad: Will anyone in their starting rotation step up? Millwood, Padilla, McCarthy?!?! Anyone?!?!? Gagne was a terrible investment for the Rangers. Their OF looks very average right now.

4. Seattle Mariners

The Good: Ichiro is still a top 10 player in the American League and they have some solid players around him in Ibanez, Beltre, Sexson, Johjima. If King Felix pitches up to potential, he can be a monster. They have a Putz closing for them. No really. His name is J.J. Putz. Yep, another baseball player named J.J. What'd I tell ya?

The Bad: After Felix, no one on this team really pitches that well. So if Felix doesn't come through this year, the pitching staff is in big doo doo. Also, this team doesn't get on base a whole much. They ranked 4th from last in On Base % last year. Pretty pitiful.

American League Central:
1. Detroit Tigers

The Good: A very good team that got better. They play extremely good defense. Their pitching is great starting with Bonderman and Verlander. They needed a big bopper in the offseason and acquired Gary Sheffield. Carlos Guillen might be one of the most underrated players in baseball. The bullpen is great too with T. Jones, Zumaya and Rodney.

The Bad: I still think they can use one more hitter. Also, if the whole team starts playing Guitar Hero, they can kiss their World Series hopes goodbye.

2. Minnesota Twins

The Good: It all starts with Johan Santana. You can argue that he is the best player in baseball. Mauer, Morneau, and Cuddy make up a very good 3-4-5. Bullpen is stellar.

The Bad: The Starting Rotation after Johan is patchwork. If Torii Hunter can't stay healthy, not alot of hitting besides the big three. We will not hear the end of Myjah throughout the whole baseball season.

3. Cleveland Indians

The Good: V-mart, Sizemore, and Hafner make up the heart of the lineup. If Hafner played in a big market, he'd be considered a superstar. Josh Barfield looks in line to have a break out season. C.C. (Not CeeCee) Sabathia is a damn good pitcher.

The Bad: Peralta and Marte have to start playing more consistently. Rotation after Sabathia looks iffy. Bullpen doesn't look too healthy right now. Neither does CC Sabathia after a trip to Mickey D's.

4. Chicago White Sox

The Good: Arguably the most talented team in the division.

The Bad: The talent is all old or inconsistent.

5. Kansas City Royals

The Good: Not as bad as you think. Teahen, Shealy, and Gordon make up a good core. Plus when Butler comes up, the lineup will be stacked.

The Bad: Holy Hochevar!!! Where's the pitching?!?!?!

American League East:

1. New York Yankees

The Good: The Best lineup in baseball. The best bullpen in the division. Derek Jeter is dreamy. They have a lot of money and you don't. For some reason, I think A-rod's going to kill it this year. It could be the fact that he's in a contract year. Or it could be the fact that he's actually speaking up without caring about the repercussions. Whatever it is, there's something different about A-rod and it showed during spring training.

The Bad: The rotation doesn't look championship ready. It needs Phil Hughes and the Rocket right now. Yankee haters can't wait to see Mientkiewicz at the plate in a big spot. Predictions on his average? I'm setting the over/under at .180.

2. Boston Red Sox

The Good: Schilling, Beckett, and Dice-K leading the starting rotation. It was smart putting Papelbon back into the closer role. Big Papi and Manny can carry a whole offense by themselves.

The Bad: What if Pap can't stay healthy? The bullpen without papelbon is atrocious. Schilling is old and Beckett's penis falls off when he sees a blister. JD Drew? LOL LOL LOL LOL. I can't wait for a Yankee fan to throw a battery at him in right field.

3. Toronto Blue Jays

The Good: Vernon Wells and Troy Glaus are monsters. Alex Rios is one injury free season away from being a star. Plus they added Big Hurt. Halladay is a stud and BJ Ryan might be the nastiest closer in baseball.

The Bad: They play in the AL East.

4. Baltimore Orioles

The Good: Their first three starting pitchers look promising (Bedard, Daniel Cabrera, Loewen). Everyone knows about Tejada and Markakis looks primed for a breakout season.

The Bad: Their whole lineup looks average. They play in the AL East.

5. Tampa Bay Devil Rays

The Good: in 2 years, could have the best OF in baseball in Dukes, Young, and Crawford. Kazmir needs to lower his walk total before he's considered a legit ace but he's almost there.

The Bad: Team is way too young. No pitching outside of Kazmir. They Play in the AL East.

NL Wild Card Team: Atlanta Braves

AL Wild Card Team: Boston Red Sox

10 players ready to Breakout:
Stephen Drew
Nick Markakis
Delmon Young
King Felix
Ian Kinsler
Josh Barfield
Rickie Weeks
Chris Young (the OFer)
Edwin Encarnacion
Erik Bedard
Matt cain

AL Rookie of the Year:
1. Dice-K
2. Delmon Young
3. Alex Gordon
4. Phil Hughes
5. Elijah Dukes

NL Rookie of the Year
1. Troy Tulowitzki
2. Homer Bailey
3. Chris Young
4. Ryan Braun
5. Kevin Kouzmanoff

AL Cy Young:
1. Johan Santana
2. Roy Halladay
3. Dice-K
4. Jeremy Bonderman
5. King Felix

NL Cy Young:
1. Roy Oswalt
2. Ben Sheets
3. Brandon Webb
4. Chris Carpenter
5. Carlos Zambrano

AL MVP:
1. Alex Rodriguez
2. Travis Hafner
3. Manny Ramirez
4. Vladimir Guerrero
5. Vernon Wells

NL MVP:
1. Albert Pujols
2. Derek Lee
3. Jose Reyes
4. Prince Fielder
5. Chase Utley

World Series Prediction:

Detroit Tigers over the Philedelphia Phillies

What, no Yankees?!?!?! Well, I might chance my pick to the Yankees if Roger Clemens signs and Phil Hughes is in the rotation. But until that happens, i'm not willing to hang my hat when their Starting rotation has more holes 24's plot lately.

Episode 18: 2007 March Madness, 3 / 15 / 07

2007-03-15T09:02:00.000-07:00

A blog of the events of the day. BTW, My Final Four Prediction is Florida, Kansas, Georgetown, Ohio state with Florida winning it all over Georgetown.

12:00 Awaiting Davidson vs. Maryland, Texas Tech vs. BC, and Stanford vs. Louisville. Only upset of the bunch that i picked was Texas Tech. Hopefully, Bobby Knight and the Red Raiders come through. I'm really looking forward to the Stanford vs. Louisville game mainly because my neighbor is a Stanford grad. When they lose, he will not hear the end of it. I'll also be wearing my Georgetown jersey the whole day. They tip off at 2:45 today. Looking forward to a long run by Jeff Green and company. I'm sure glad spring break came at a good time. Watch the opening games in peace. BRB, gotta brush my teeth before the games start. Also, there's this weird pain in my leg. FUCKING SHIT MAN.

12:51-Wow, that Texas Tech pick is looking terrible right now. They don't close out on open shooters and they look very unorganized on offense. Not your typical Bobby Knight team. In fact, I'm more upset then Bobby Knight right now. Ummmm, someone get this guy off the zoloft.

1:00- WTF @ davidson rocking Maryland's world right now. 35-30? They are showing the TT vs. BC game here so I have no idea what's going on but I can imagine Stephen Curry lighting up Maryland. Just in case y'all don't know, that's Dell Curry's son.

1:14- Texas Tech has made it a ballgame at halftime with a 43-41 score. They did most of their damage after BC's star player, Jared Dudley, got his 3rd foul. Still BC has this little PG named Rice that is shaking and baking, swishing and dishing. Along with the Davidson vs. Maryland game, we've had a nice Rice and Curry combo so far today. Yes. It's almost lunchtime.

1:25- Just my luck, Texas Tech and BC is about to start the second half and now I have to take my brother to the Doctor's office. I am not a happy camper right now. This is the time where I curse God for creating disease and ruining my opening day of March Madness.

1:40- My brother's doctor's office is in Suffern, NY. To get there, I have to drive through a town called Monsey.....or as I like to call it "Little Israel". And let me tell you, there are droves of Jews out right now and they are walking around mindlessly. I'm pretty sure they are out right now wondering where all the customers are for all their Jewish shops and businesses. "Well, guys....There's this collegiate basketball tournament that happens every year in the middle of March. It's fairly popular within the communities of heterosexual men, cool chicks, college students, and lesbians (also known as Women basketball players)." You'd think that with the rate that Jewish people send their kids to college, one of their kids would let them know.

1:43- I just shouted Positive A out of my car window. Jewish woman turns to me after hearing this and then quickly walks the other way. I wonder what word, name, or phrase would have a similar effect on a whole population of Jews? Maybe the Palestinians could use this to their advantage somehow? My brother just asked me wtf was Positive A. I told him it's some dude from a message board that I post at that wanted to get shouted out. The nerve of this guy. He just called me a herb. How ironic considering he plays World of Warcraft. BTW, Davidson goes on a 9-0 run to start the second half against Maryland to take an 8 point lead. Are we on our way to the first huge upset of the tournament? I don't know who the announcer is but he's telling me that Gary Williams is angrier then a white swingman on an NBA team that has to face the Lakers. RELE.

1:50- I hate doctors. But one thing I love about their offices is their magazine rack. This guy usually has a bunch of People magazines in his rack. Unfortunately, this guy in a yarmulke is hogging every single one of them. I would've thought he'd be hogging the Fortune magazines. My brother sits down with a Time magazine. I ponder b/w a Time magazine or going back to my car to listen to the rest of BC vs. Texas Tech.

1:51- Sunnis vs. Shias....The Civil War in the Middle East.

1:53- BC vs. Texas Tech sounds like a dogfight right now. However from watching the first half, I know Texas Tech is doomed to lose. Texas Tech cannot hang inside with BC. Texas Tech doesn't close out on defense. Texas Tech just doesn't have the athletes or the players to hang with BC AT ALL.

2:10- I'm starting to regret not picking Louisville to go to at least the Sweet 16. But then again, they are also playing Stanford. I hear this Sosa kid's lighting up the cardinals. I wonder if someone will ask him "Has beisbol been berry berry goo to you?" in the post game interview. And then ask him if he's willing to piss in a cup? Only I'd find this funny though.

2:20- Following exchange took place after my brother got in the car.

Me- What took so long?

Brother- I got my shots.

Me- Shots take 5 seconds. Wham Bam Thank you ma'am and you're out. (yes i actually said this).

Brother- I'm supposed to wait 20 minutes just in case I don't get an allergic reaction.

Me- You've gotten this shot multiple times before, right?

Brother- Yeah.

Me- And you never got an allergic reaction before, right?

Brother- I hope you're not trying to make me look stupid. You shouted out someone's message board name out your car window today, right?

Me- (starts the car)

2:31- I'm driving home as fast as I can to try to make the 2:45 time for Georgetown vs. Belmont when my phone starts ringing. It's my boy Goat and he's at Pizza Hut and wants me to come through. He knows I'm a huge Georgetown fan but he gets me with this line: "The foods on me." SONOVABITCH. I ask my brother for sagely advice and all he gives me is "It's up to you."

2:51- I'm in the Pizza Hut parking lot and Georgetown is already down 12-5. FUCKING SHIT MAN.

3:20- After Goat, his boy, my brother and I go through 25 Wings, 10 Cheese garlic breads, 10 cheese sticks, and all you can eat salad bar, I go to check on the score. Georgetown up 8. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS LIKE MARV ALBERT IN LEATHER WITH A CHICK HALF HIS AGE!!!!!!

3:30- WTF IS THIS?!?!? This brown motha fucka ordered some garlic knot crust pizza or some shit. What kind of faggot metrosexual pizza are we about to consume here?!?!?!

3:32- I can't believe I am missing the georgetown game because of this terrible tasting faggot ass metrosexual crust ass pizza.

3:45- Me and my brother are OUT!!!! Unfortunately, ODU vs. Butler is on the radio. No updates on Georgetown. ESPN radio really sucks. At least ODU vs. Butler is a close game. Back and forth though.

4:01- Back home. HOME SWEET HOME. Unfortunately, Georgetown is not on TV and ODU vs. Butler is. This is some racist shit for real. Whichever game has more white people on the court will get on TV. At least Georgetown is up by 15.

4:25- This guy campbell from Butler just drained 3 three point baskets and put some serious distance between them and Old Dominion. This game looks like it's a wrap. So they switch to Penn vs. A&M with Penn up by 2 with a little more then 10 minutes left. WOW, that would destroy pretty much everyone's bracket.

4:35- Acie Law decided to take over on the offensive end and A&M put their best one on one defender on Penn's PG. Pretty much looks like the end. Georgetown is up 66-46 so I'm probably gonna take a nap until the second batch of games come on.

8:30- I think pizza hut made me sick. I shitted twice in the past half hour. Not pretty. I just took a lomotil. If my posts start not to make sense, it's the lomotil. At least Duke's only up on VCU by 2. I'll tell you what though. I was wrong about McRoberts. The guy can ball. Looks like a legit NBA prospect. Showing off a vast array of skills. Impressive. I love the way VCU plays though. Pressing all the time and Half court traps. Love it. That's the way basketball should be played.

9:00- Paulus has gone off. He has hit a couple of big three pointers and now Duke is up 8 with a little under 10 minutes to go. Paulus is a nice little player. Type of guy you hate when you're against him but love him when you're playing with him. Grimey little fucker. I still hate the dude though. BTW, Michigan State is spanking Marquette. Was not a good showing at all by them.

9:10- Didn't take VCU long to make this a game again. Jesus, if they advance, this is a team that can give anyone fits. They play good defense and get great guard play. And any time you press all the time like they do, 8 point deficits can vanish in a couple minutes with a couple turnovers.

9:13- My stomach still hurts. Fucking garlic knots pizza. I'm clutching my stomach and moaning and groaning when my sister tells me that she wants to eat at the Cheesecake factory tommarow night. I moan and groan louder. She doesn't seem to get the picture. I point toward my stomach and then to the TV. I don't think she cares. If this isn't a real factory that makes different cakes, I'll be extremely dissappointed. I'm imagining something like the Pawtucket Brewery from that episode of Family Guy that was a parody of the Willy Wonka movie. MY SISTER BETTER HAVE A FUCKING GOLDEN TICKET!!!!!!!!!

9:25- Demarcus Nelson just tied the game with 10 seconds left. HOLY SHIT

10 seconds later- UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, easily the best game of the night so far? Maynor drills a shot from the top of the key like he has ice water in his veins. This guy is the perfect type of point you need to make a long run in the NCAA Tournament.

That's all for tonight. My stomach is too much for me right now. It's like there's a suicide bomber entering my stomach every 2 minutes. Hopefully, if this predicament doesn't put me on the Disabled list, I'll come through with a Day 2 blog. Enjoy the late night games.

Episode 17: Drama!!!!!

2007-02-23T16:47:00.000-08:00

Every few years we see a dismantling of a superstar.

When this superstar started, we thought there was a world of potential. This person started off with a bang. Put up huge numbers. Also, the person had a relationship with another contemporary. They were inseparable for the first couple years. They both were doing great. The world was in the palm of their hands.

Soon, this person was one of the richest people in the world. Money was being thrown around and this person was seeing major endorsements. This person's career was also continuing on an incredible path.

And then it all went wrong.

This person's relationship had a huge public fallout mainly because of the person this blog is about. Whatever the person tried to do to apologize, the other person would not listen. He would not come back.

Soon after that, this person moved on. Even though the person is still a huge star, people question this person. Despite the amazing things this person has done, people have a problem with this person. The public scrutiny is mounting. The media doesn't leave this person alone. People do not leave this person alone. This person is considered superficial and everything this person does seems like it's a cry for attention. There are other stars in the genre this person dominated that are more highly regarded. This person's star is falling. This person is falling apart before our very eyes. This person is mentally breaking down. The people around this person are tired of this person's antics but they are also genuinely worried. People are starting to think that the end of the relationship from a few years ago sparked this downward spiral. People don't know if this person can survive the scrutiny.

If you think, I'm writing about Britney Spears. You are wrong.

Welcome to the world of A-Rod. Where everyday is a dramedy.

Episode 16: Halfway point of the NBA season

2007-01-29T06:56:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Inaugural post to The Brown Revolution blog. After a mutual breakup with the Steadyblogger collective at philaflava.com (actually, I was unceremoniously dumped by Gloss because he hates brown people), I have decided to spread my wings and fly on my own. I have brought all my old blogs in the past and posted them here for the viewing of my many fans. Some will read them and shout with glee. Many will recoil in terror (I am brown....terror is my specialty apparently). A quick overview on what I write about: everything but mostly sports. A lot of sports. Cats end up ODing with the amount of sports I will throw at you. Also, if you are Jewish, you'll probably hate me the more you read these blogs. If you are white, you will hate me less but nonetheless hate me. Anyways, today's blog is basically me dropping knowledge on the first half of the NBA season. Hardware will be handed out and my picks for what the All star team should look like.

The Brown Western Conference All Stars:
PG- Steve Nash
SG- Kobe Bryant
SF- Kevin Garnett
PF- Dirk Nowitzki
C- Tim Duncan

Bench- Josh Howard, Shawn Marion, Amare Stoudemire, Deron Williams, Carlos Boozer, Tracy McGrady, Allen Iverson

-Holy guacamole, the starting lineup looks like a who's who of MVP candidates. If you look at the bench, some of these guys could start on the East team. Heck, some of the players I left off (Yao Ming, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, Zack Randolph) could start on the East team. I left off the first three players because of injury issues. I left off Zach Randolph because he plays on the Jailblazers. No, really, I left off Zach Randolph and Elton Brand because of the numbers game. There are too many good big men in the West and not enough spots to give out to the players. Yao Ming is actually a top 3 player according to John Hollinger's player efficiency rating.

EDIT: Now that it seems that Boozer is injured, you can make room for Carmelo on this team especially because of the other candidates next on the list, he has the best #s.

Eastern Conference:
PG- Gilbert Arenas
SG- Dwyane Wade
SF- Lebron James
PF- Chris Bosh
C- Dwight Howard

Bench- Michael Redd, Jason Kidd, Jermaine O'Neal, Emeka Okafor, Chauncey Billups, Caron Butler, Ben Gordon

-The East is terrible. I almost put Eddy Curry on this team. That's how bad the East is. Honestly, nothing more needs to be said.

NBA 6th Man:
1. Ben Gordon
2. Leandro Barbosa
3. David Lee

-As of now, Gordon owns this award for best supersub however he is beginning to start games for the Chicago Bulls. He is scoring lights out and is one of the best 4th quarter basketball players in the NBA. Barbosa's been awesome for the Suns as their only reliable sub off the bench. He's actually finished more games then Raja Bell has. BTW, when do we begin the countdown to when Leandro Barbosa does the one name thing like other Brazilian athletes? And wouldn't you want to be Leandro during the offseason? One of the NBA's top 50 ball players, he must be a huge celebrity in Brazil.....and as the legendary Nas says:

Grindin, hittin Brazilian dimes from behind
Grindin, hittin Brazilian dimes from behind

Anyways, David Lee's player efficiency rating is actually better then both Gordon and Barbosa. However, 2 things are working against Lee. 1) He plays for the Knicks. 2) If Nash or Nowitzki wins MVP, the white guilt will be too much for the writers.

Most Improved Player:
1. Kevin Martin
2. Andris Biedrins
3. JR Smith

-You're probably asking yourself "where the hell is Josh Howard?" Even though he is the popular pick for Most Improved Player, the fact of the matter is, did he improve more then the three players listed above? Kevin Martin's PER improved by 6 points. Biedrins improved by 4 points as did JR Smith. Meanwhile, Josh Howard only improved by 2 points. It's a lot but not more then the aforementioned players. Honorable mention shout out goes to Luke Walton. He's looked good this year, no homo.

Defensive Player of the First Half:
1. Emeka Okafor
2. Shawn Marion
3. Marcus Camby

Even though he plays for the Bobcats, Okafor has been the most impressive defensive player I've seen this year. He can singlehandedly turn a team into a jumpshooting ballclub. His timing and help defense are impeccable and his ability to guard post players one one one is very good as well. Shawn Marion is one of the more underrated ball players in the NBA. He always guards the opposing team's best forward and comes up with his fair share of steals and blocks. For Camby, it's just been buisness as usual this year. If you go into the lane against Denver, it's either sent into the stands or you are changing your shot. Thousands of Denver fans are praying that he doesn't break a limb before the playoffs.

Coach of the First Half:
1. Jerry Sloan
2. Phil Jackson
3. Eddie Jordan

-Sloan is always one of the more under-appreciated ball coaches in the NBA. Every year everyone disregards his teams as too vanilla. But every year his teams play hard and smart and make a run at the playoffs. This year experts said they wouldn't sniff the playoffs but they are currently winning their division. Phil Jackson is doing an amazing job with Odom, Kobe, and a bunch of no-namers. And who in the beginning of the year would've told you that Washington would be leading the Eastern Conference at this point in the season?

Rookie of the First Half:
1. Brandon Roy
2. You suck
3. You're even more terrible

-I don't remember a rookie class being this bad. Ever. It's like watching Colin Farrell in Alexander. You knew he was bad, but while watching it, you didn't think he was THAT bad.

NBA MVP:
1. Steve Nash
2. Dirk Nowitzki
3. Kevin Garnett
4. Kobe Bryant
5. Gilbert Arenas

-Steve Nash, believe it or not is playing better ball this year then he did last year. He is the engine that makes the Suns go. Right now, it's between him and Dirk. 5 years ago, if someone would've told you that 2 white guys that weren't born in the US would be the leading candidates for NBA MVP, you would've told him to go back to France, right? It's like having 2 black head coaches in the Super Bowl.....you never really thought it was going to happen. Oh, American cracka ball player, where have you gone?

Comparing NBA Teams and players to Famous People:

Miami Heat :: Osama Bin Laden- Laying in the cut right now but you know sooner or later, they'll make some noise.

San Antonio Spurs :: Heather Locklear- damn, you want to wife this bitch. You think you can go all the way with them. BUT GOD DAMMIT THEY ARE SO OLD, THEY CAN GO DOWN HILL AT ANY MOMENT.

Minnesota Timberwolves :: Vida Guerra- They realize that they only have one great thing going for them.....and in the grand scheme of things, it's not enough.

New York Knicks :: Britney Spears- Worth a ton of money and was good for a few years, but now is a train wreck. Should've divorced that dude a long time ago.

Washington Wizards :: Diddy circa "Bad Boys for Life"- Entertaining and has a good butler. However, you fear they are all flash with little substance.

Chicago Bulls :: Jennifer Aniston- They were the shit in the 90's but were eh in the 2000's....especially after their leading men left. Looking to make a move that'll put them in the forefront again.

Phoenix Suns :: Angelina Jolie- Damn, they look good. Have great leading men. Have kids from other countries. But something just ain't right about them.

Dallas Mavericks :: Seal- You look at them and you're like what? but they sound good and they both got a baaaad German bitch.

Portland Trailblazers :: Lindsay Lohan- too easy?

Utah Jazz :: Cate Blanchett- They are really white but they are also really good. But they ain't winning shit this year.

Houston Rockets :: Rush Hour- Chinese guy is gooooood. But you've kinda always expected more from the Black dude.

NJ Nets :: Nas- was primed to do big things but definitely didn't come through.

and going a bit off topic

Chicago Bears :: Little Miss Sunshine- Very good but not great. You don't know how they've been pulling it off.

Indianapolis Colts :: Martin Scorcese- They've had better years but this year seems to be their year. But we say that every year.

Episode 15: Random Thoughts from a Handsome Boss

2007-01-26T11:51:00.001-08:00

Haven't written a blog in a minute but it's about time I make an update. Especially with the baseball winter meetings wrapping up, the first quarter of the NBA season passing us by, and the stretch run of the NFL season about to start this week.

NBA:

-The Utah Jazz has clearly been the suprise of the league so far. Well to everyone but me and a select few NBA analysts, I guess. I had them being in the top 6 of their conference. Right now, they defenitely look like they are at least that. Could this be Jerry Sloan's year to win an NBA championship? He's got all the pieces in place. A low post go to guy in Boozer, an extremely savvy point guard and a perimeter go to guy in Deron Williams, a very good #3 option in Okur, a defensive stopper in Kirilenko, and a very solid bench with good role players. Really scary team right now.

-The Western conference is CLEARLY better then the East. There are 10 teams in the West with at least a .500 record or better. Meanwhile, there are only 5 teams in the East that have a .500 record or better. YIKES. If Bud Selig was around, half of the Eastern conference would be contracted by now.

-The New York Knicks are currently 1 game out of first place (at 8-14 btw. Has there ever been a division more futile then the Atlantic? Someone from this division is going to get in the playoffs? WHAT?!?!). On top of that, Eddy Curry has finally been playing up to his potential (averaging 27 ppg, 10.5 rebounds per game, 1.2 steals, and 1.4 blocks per game in December), David Lee and the rest of the bench is playing out their god damn minds, and Stephon Marbury is still sulking in a corner somewhere.

What does that all mean? It means James Dolan will see improvement, won't fire Isiah, and I'll have to live with 2-3 more years of mediocrity. This is the life of a Knicks fan.

-If the playoffs started today, Minnesota would get the 8th spot in the West and would get trounced in the first round again for the 9th time in 10 years. Hey Mchale, show KG some pity and trade him to a contender!!!

-Orlando is another suprise in the league. Even more suprising is that they are 7-2 against the Western Conference. Dwight Howard MVP candidate?

-If the playoffs started today, Atlanta would have the 8th seed. If the season ended with Atlanta making the playoffs, pigs would start flying, hell would freeze over, and Israeli gov't officials would admit to framing the Muslims for 9/11. Seriously, when was the last time Atlanta made the playoffs?

-The New Jersey Nets are better then their record. It's obvious basketball isn't on the mind of the Nets right now. They need to get to the bottom of this closet homosexual in their ranks. Until then, they'll continue to suck. Oh yeah, and until they learn to play defense, they'll continue to suck.

-OH LOOK GUYS, AN "ALLEN IVERSON ABOUT TO BE TRADED" SITUATION, SUPRISE SUPRISE. WHAT? MANNY RAMIREZ WANTS TO BE TRADED TOO? I DIDNT SEE THAT COMING EITHER.

-If I had a vote, Melo is my first quarter MVP. He has been playing out of his mind so far and continuing his great play from the World Championships over the Summer. Yao Ming, Joe Johnson, Carlos Boozer, Lebron, Dwight Heezy, Dirk, Duncan, KG, and Nash round out the top 10.

MLB:

-Every pitcher on the market's value has become hyper inflated. #3 and #4 pitchers are making #2 starer money. #2 starters are making Ace money. Vicente Padilla is worth 11 million dollars per year for 4 years. Jason Schmidt is worth 16 Million a year for 3 years. I'm sure if I tested the open waters right now and told people I throw 85 mph left handed, I'd net about 5-6 mill a year for 4 years.

-Position players are also getting overpaid. Carlos Lee and Soriano are going to make 17 mill a year. JD Drew will be making 14 Mill per year. All of a sudden, Yankees only paying 20 mill per year for A-rod is a good deal. Beltran getting paid 17 mill a year is a bargain. Pujols being paid 15 mill a year is the steal of the century.

-Best deal of the offseason goes to the colorado rockies for signing Jeff Francis to a 13 mill deal for 4 years. A legit #2 starter imo, he could be commanding 10-12 mill per year on the open market. Instead the Rockies lock him up for cheap.

Best trade that helped both teams is the Deal b/w the phillies and White sox. The phillies didn't need Gavin Floyd for the future. They needed a pitcher now. Garcia will help the immediately. Meanwhile, the White sox have the time to coddle Floyd until he's ready considering the White sox have enough pitching.

NFL:

-As of right now, the San Diego Chargers are the favorites to win the Super Bowl. However, I still don't trust their secondary and I still won't trust any team coached by Marty Schottenheimer. He is the A-rod of Football coaching. Looks great in the regular season but is terrible in the postseason. However, can his team being too good overcome Marty's softbatchness?

-The second best team in the NFL is the Indianapolis Colts imo. However, Peyton Manning is to QBing as to Marty is to coaching. Has there ever been a season in the NFL where the top 2 teams in the league have known choke artists on the payroll?

-Chicago is the third best team in the league but their coach refuses to replace a completely ineffective QB. If Brian Griese is starting, this could be the best team in the NFL. I think Lovie Smith secretely hates Chicagoans.

-Whoever Jessica Simpson goes out with, that guy ends up looking like a million bucks after they break up (no homo). Nick Lachey had a huge year post-Jessica. John Mayer dissed the fuck outta Jessica and dropped a pretty good album. I'm waiting for Tony Romo to call it quits with her. He'll probably be hoisting a Super Bowl trophy in January if this happens.

-Do people find Vince Young being this good this fast as scary as I do? He possibly dismantled the Giants season by himself and engineered a 4th quarter to take down a top 4 team in the Colts. Goes to show you, scouts shouldn't give a lick about the Wonderlic (OMG MY BAD I HAD TO DO IT).

-AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH, Strahan could quite possibly out for the season. I'm way too bewildered to talk about the Giants right now.

-LOL. It's fitting that the Eagles are being led by a blatant homosexual. This just in, Jeff Garcia just signed with the New Jersey Nets.

Episode 14: BAAAAAAAAAAALLLLIIIIIN

2007-01-26T11:50:00.002-08:00

Western Conference:
1. San Antonio Spurs
2. Phoenix Suns
3. Dallas Mavericks
4. Houston Rockets
5. LA Clippers
6. Utah Jazz
7. LA Lakers
8. Sacramemto Kings
9. Golden State Warriors
10. New Orleans Hornets
11. Denver Nuggets
12. Minnesota T-wolves
13. Seattle Supersonics
14. Memphis Grizzlies
15. Portland Traiblazers

Eastern Conference:
1. Cleveland Cavaliers
2. Chicago Bulls
3. New Jersey Nets
4. Detroit Pistons
5. Washington Wizards
6. Miami Heat
7. Indiana Pacers
8. Orlando Magic
9. Milwaukee Bucks
10. Charlotte Bobcats
11. Toronto Raptors
12. New York Knicks
13. Philedelphia 76ers
14. Atlanta Hawks
15. Boston Celtics

Atlantic Division:
1. New Jersey Nets

-The class of the division by far. Any team with Kidd, Carter, and Jefferson will contend. Marcus Williams will be able to give Kidd some breathers this year and keep him fresh for the playoffs. Still is one big man away from contending. Is also one huge injury or a domestic violence charge to Kidd away from the lottery. Will Jay-Z's pending album release be a distraction since he's promoting himself more then Nas and the Nets. DROP THE REDMAN ALBUM YOU FAGGOT ASS CAMEL!!

2. Toronto Raptors

-I think they are much improved. Bosh is going to take his game up to the next level. Man's all around game is nice. they also picked up solid players like Fred Jones, TJ Ford, Anthony Parker. Still a somewhat flawed team. Their biggest flaw being (que Stephen A) RASHO NESTEROVIC.

3. New York Knicks

-The Larry Brown situation last year was a mess. He hated everyone on the team. The whole team hated him. That alone could mean 6-8 more wins. They also are going to play at a higher tempo. One problem though. They still can't guard anyone for a lick and Stephon Marbury is still playing point guard. I'd say let's destroy this team but we don't have a lottery pick (or as i like to call it, a greg oden pick) to look forward to. All in All, this is a lost season.

4. Philedelphia 76ers

-Another flawed team. Webber is worthless. Only players worth a lick on this team is AI and Iguodala even though Carney can be good too. I can't see how this team can be any good. Especially with Allen Iverson dominating the ball the way he does. Imagine Iverson and Artest came out with a rap album together? I think David Stern would have a heart attack and then Don Corleone their asses after he recovered.

5. Boston Celtics

-Paul Pierce is the fucking truth. One of the more underrated ballplayers in the NBA. But waaaaaaaaaaaaay too many youngins on this squad. All this Rondo hype is sickening. People will get a reality check once he starts facing real NBA defenses that'll lock his ass down. Al Jefferson better start cashing in on his potential. LOL, looks like this team is in the Greg Oden hunt.

Southeast Division:
1. Washington Wizards

-Gilbert Arenas is going to kill everyone this year. Not only is he the craziest mamma jamma in the league, but he also is one of the best. He will lead the league in scoring this year, mark my words. They also have some solid pieces around them. They also play some solid defense. They need to rebound better though but they can defenitely contend in this conference.

2. Miami Heat

-I'm not sold on this team. They are too old around Wade. Shaq, Payton, and Alonzo are playing in wheelchairs and canes. No real scorers around Wade. However, since Wade and Riley have the NBA referees on the payroll, they'll make some noise in the playoffs.

3. Orlando Magic

-One of my sleeper teams. One injury to anyone in their starting lineup WILL hurt them. Dwight Howard is a beast though and Jameer Nelson is turning out to be a good PG. I can't believe i'm saying this but Darko can be a pretty good player alongside Dwight Heezy. Plus him and Hedo Turkogolu can speak in Kazakhstan, or whatever language they speak, to each other. On the court, that is a huge edge.

4. Charlotte Bobcats

-Another team i like as a sleeper squad. All this team really needed was a scorer and they got the best one in the draft in Adam Morrison. A nucleus of Felton, G. Wallace, Okafor, and Morison is a pretty good one to build around.

5. Atlanta Hawks

Since Speedy Claxton signed with them, they will endure the curse of Mike NJJ. Young squad with alot of talent. Marvin Williams injury already set them back. Josh Smith aka Ghetto Kirilenko is the new human highlight reel. He's a sportscenter top 10 waiting to happen in every game. You think Joe Johnson is kicking himself for not resigning with phoenix? Is being the man THAT important?!?!

Central Division
1. Cleveland Cavaliers

-So far my #1 ranked team in the conference. They have the best player in the nba. They play defense. They have a couple of rebounders. They have a couple of shooters. They have a #2 scorer in Larry Hughes. Right now, this team looks pretty good and they didnt even make a major move during the offseason. Now all we have to do is wait to see who wins between Buisness Lebron and Wise Lebron. I got my money on Buisness. He is way too cool.

2. Chicago Bulls

-They are an extremely good team. Excellent actually. Probably the best defensive team in the NBA. They have great defenders at every position. They are also extremely well coached by Scott Skiles. They are extremely athletic. However, I have three problems with them. 1) They don't have a go to scorer. 2) Ben Wallace is a liability at the end of close games. Not only can he not create offense for himself, he can't even hit a good clip of free throws. A double whammy when you don't have a go to scorer. 3) I've hated the Bulls since I was a kid.

3. Detroit Pistons

-A very good well rounded team. Losing Ben Wallace is going to be big though. Billups (even though a great PG) isn't a very good defensive player. Opposing PGs are going to get in the paint consistently against them. Ben used to counteract that. Now, it's buckets. At least they still have Rasheed and Rip. I can't root for anyteam that has Tayshaun Prince on it though. He just reeks of bitchiness. I CAN root for a team that has a Mohammed though. Props to Joe Dumars for that.

4. Indiana Pacers

-Well, you can count on one thing. They'll lead the league in players showing up in the Police blotter. Is Bender finally going to break out (and no, i don't mean Mindbender of PF Fame. He who already seems like broke out the looney bin)? I have a feeling Granger will. This guy is in the same mold of Kirilenko and Ghetto Kirilenko. These guys need a PG in a bad way. That's what they get for passing up on Marcus Williams. And think of the possibilities if Marcus Williams got drafted there. Not only do you have shootouts at strip clubs, beatdowns at rivals' arenas, but every beat writer for the Pacers would have to watch the laptops extremely carefully. They had the potential to be the Trailblazers East. Pretty dissappointed in Donnie Walsh and Larry Bird here.

5. Milwaukee Bucks

-Pretty good team. Front court of Bogut, Villanueva, and Bobby Simmons has loads of potential. Michael Redd's a great shooter. Mo Williams is a nice young point. They just miss out on the playoffs mainly because of the numbers game. I can easily see the Bucks sneaking in the playoffs.

Pacific Division
1. Phoenix Suns

-Went to the Western Conference Finals without Amare last year. Now they have Amare back. SCARY. Nash still can't play D but can still play the heck out of the PG position. Marion is still one of the more underrated ball players in basketball. Raja Bell can still clothesline Kobe during any given Laker game. He should've clotheslined Lamar Odom yesterday. Yikes. How many times do you think Gloss will say Leandro Barbosa's name wrong? I IMed him this morning and he called him "Barborosa". LOL, when did the Apprentice sign with the Phoenix Suns? Was that Jerry Colangelo's last move as executive of the Suns? Is Donald Trump now the new GM of the Phoenix Suns? Who's glare would win out? Kurt Thomas' or Donald Trump's? Ok Ok. Wait, one more. What's the odds on Gloss calling him "Barboro" or "Babel"? No, for real though. I'll stop. I promise.

2. LA Clippers

-Wasn't it just a couple years ago that everyone was making fun of this team? Now they are a top 10 team in all of basketball. We are counting down the days till Livingston is the point guard over Cassell. As great as Cassell is, Livingston is the future. Now that Elton Brand finally has an all star apperance after five 20 and 10 seasons, do you think he'll start to slack off? Doubt it. No real glaring weakness other then they don't have that much experience.

3. LA Lakers

-Played suprisingly well without Kobe yesterday. I hope Kobe looks at this and starts spreading the ball around. They added a couple of nice players in radmanovic and Farmar. Plus Bynum looks much improved. The biggest key here is whether Kobe trusts his teammates enough.

4. Sacramento Kings

-Artest thinks this team can win a championship? A nucleus of Artest, Bibby, and Brad Miller can contend. But what about the pieces around them? Kevin Martin has a chance to break out and score alot. And i fully endorce any Muslim player nicknamed Reefer. All day every day.

5. Golden State Warriors

-After years of hype, can they finally make the playoffs this year? is RUN TMC back in the form of RUN BRD (Baron, Richardson, Dunleavy)? Is going to be an extremely explosive team but will they play enough defense? Will Baron play a full season? Will Dunleavy stop making goofy faces while he's playing? Seriously. He looks like he has a touch of down.

Northwest Division
1. Utah Jazz

-Their season hinges on Kirilenko staying healthy. Seriously scary team right here. They have some good white players on this team. Lets check them off. Kirilenko, check. Mehmut Okur. Check. Matt Harpring. Check. Greg Ostertag. Check. Carlos Boozer. Check. Deron Williams is going to kill shit this year. When they drafted Ronnie Brewer (who can play some critical minutes for the Jazz this year), I was perplexed. I was like "Sloan does realize that Brewer is black, right?"

2. Denver Nuggets

-Carmelo and that's it. Honestly, look at this team and tell me this is a playoff team. George Karl is a good coach but not that good. Do you think you'll see Melo in the paper for domestic violence this year? Or at least go insane during a game? Think about it. After all the losses mount up, he'll go home to LaLa who will probably talk non stop at 50 words per second. I defenitely don't want to be Melo.

btw, i don't condone beating women of any type. I'd make sweet love to LaLa but with duct tape over her mouth. That'd make fellatio difficult but i'll improvise.

3. Minnesota T-wolves

-This team is talented but look at the roster. McHale must've went to the Bob Whitsit or Isiah Thomas school of GMing. Will Garnett get traded at the trade deadline this year? I got money on it. Possible destinations right now? Chicago and New Jersey.

4. Seattle Supersonics

-Robert Swift going down for the year was the best thing to ever happen to this team. Now Nick Collison can play some minutes. He can play. If Wilcox can give the sonics some muscle to go along with Ray Ray and Rashard's shooting, this could be a dangerous team. Don't bank on it though.

5. Portland Trailblazers

-LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL. At least Blazer fans can look forward to watching Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge play. Wait? Aldridge is hurt and out indefenitely? LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Southwest Division
1. San Antonio Spurs

-IMO, the best team in basketball. They play defense. They rebound. They can shoot. They can pass. They can play at any tempo even though they prefer to play with a deliberate half court style. They have a go to player and a #2 scorer. Solid point guard play. Depth. Duncan is back minus the planar fascitits. Could be looking at another MVP year. Only flaw is that they are old at a few key spots.

2. Dallas Mavericks

-Dirk is a great player. He's lacking a little bit on defense but he's a great player. There's just one thing that bothered me last year. During last year's finals, he didn't impose his will on any of the last 4 games. Not at all. Sure the refs didn't give him love like Wade did but at some point during any of those games, Dirk's gotta say "Gimme the ball and get outta my way." There's no way James Posey was bothering him that much where he couldn't do that. It's like Chris Rock in a Greatest All around Comedian of All Time debate. Sure he killed it during SNL. Sure he killed it on the stand up circuit. But unlike Pryor and Eddie, he never did his thing in movies.

3. Houston Rockets

-Yao and Tracy. The potential is there. They just have to connect on some Baby and Lil Wayne shit. Yao just gotta tell Tracy "WTF, nigga. You acting like you lost your father." Then Tracy realizes at that point, he never lost a father. Plus they gotta stay healthy. and not kiss each other on some cash money/Magic Johnson and Isiah type thing. Other then that, they look dangerous.

4. New Orleans Hornets

-Is Chris Paul already the best PG in the NBA? Wow, he's awful close. Now he has Peja and a plethora of big men to pass to. However, I don't think it's their time yet. The West is too stacked and they are too young. One more year. Did you do a double take when you read the fact I used "plethora"? I swear I didn't look in a dictionary or thesaurus. That word IS actually in my vocabulary. Promise.

5. Memphis Grizzlies

-LOL, you gotta love this division. You got names like Yao, Pau, and Bonzi. and Gay. LOL. oh yeah. BTW, Memphis sucks and will continue to suck until Gasol comes back. By that time, it'll be too late.

MVP:
1. Lebron James
2. Tim Duncan
3. Gilbert Arenas
4. Dwyane Wade
5. Kobe Bryant

Defensive Player of the Year:
1. Andrei Kirilenko
2. Ben Wallace
3. Josh Smith
4. Ron Artest
5. Bruce Bowen

Rookie of the Year:
1. Adam Morrison
2. Brandon Roye
3. Randy Foye

Coach of the Year:
1. Jerry Sloan
2. Lawrence Frank
3. Scott Skiles
4. Eddie Jordan
5. Gregg Popovich

All NBA First Team:
G- Gilbert Arenas
G- Kobe Bryant
F- Lebron James
F- Tim Duncan
C- Yao Ming

NBA Championship Prediction:

San Antonio Spurs over the New Jersey Nets or Chicago Bulls. I'm leaning towards the Nets right now. Yeah, I know. I have the Cavs as the #1 ranked team in the conference. Right now, that is my preseason rankings of each team. The Cavs could finish with the #1 seed in the East and I don't think they'll go to the finals. It's not Lebron's time yet. I'm sure the NBA is hopeing for it. That'd be a ratings coupe. Also, Garnett getting traded or other moves or injuries can defenitely change the landscape of the Eastern Conference. If the Chicago Bulls get Garnett, they will look downright scary. So can the Nets if they acquire KG. As of right now, I have the Spurs over the Nets.

Episode 13: Destroy and Rebuild

2007-01-26T11:50:00.001-08:00

It's been a long time.......since i left you..........with another dope blog to step to.

Well, in today's blog, the topic will be both the New York Yankees and the New York Mets. Both teams ended their seasons on dissappointing notes. Yankees were huge favorites to beat the Tigers only to get dismantled and the Mets being the odds on favorite by Las Vegas to win the world Series at midseason only to watch the Cardinals edge them out in a game 7. If I was a GM of either team, what would Gregg Popa do?

New York Yankees

1. Get some starting pitching

Pitching wins championships. It was the main reason why the yankees won all those world series in the mid 90's. It's the reason why alot of these scrub teams that i don't really care about since the turn of the century are winning World Series rings. Well, it's time that the Yankees go back to their meal ticket. Looking at the Yankees rotation right now, it consists of Chien Ming Wang, Moose, Randy "Never doing Dandy" Johnson, Jaret "I'm never feeling" Wright, and Carl Pavano. Well, the yankees hold an option on wright where we can buy him out at 5 mill. I buy him out immediately and tell him not to let the door hit him on the way out but secretly pray for it. Randy Johnson just had back surgery. I would ask him to retire. The man is done. I'm sure he wants to go after 300 but at what cost? His legacy is being tarnished. His slider hangs. His fastball doesn't have the same velocity. People could tolerate his grumpiness when he was good but now he sucks. Retire, nigga. Carl Pavano hasn't pitched for the yankees in 2 years and will continue to not pitch for them. Alyssa Milano dumped him a couple years ago and now the Yankees are looking for every possible way to dump him too. It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George's girlfriend wants to dump him but he goes out of his way to avoid her so she never gets that chance. Fuck Carl Costanza Pavano. Fuck Him.

So who fills their spots? Easy. Sign Andy Pettitte. He's a free agent, he's a lefty, he's had great postseason sucess, and he's familiar with the the Yankee organization. He finished the season strong last year with a 2.80 ERA in the second half. He's not too old at 34. Plus he loves Torre and Torre loves him. He can easily be the 4th starter in the Yankee rotation. Who else would I get? I'd outbid everyone for the rights to negotiate with Daisuke Matsuzaka. Who's that? The Japanese pitcher who mowed down everyone in the WBC and pitched great in the Japanese majors last year (17-5, 2.13 ERA, 0.92 WHIP, 200 K, 186.3 IP). He could come in and be the #2 starter for the Yanks. As for my fifth starter, I'd dig deep into the Yankee minors and pull out Phil Hughes, the uber prospect. The man has been mowing down every hitter at every level he's been at so far. Its about time he starts doing it at the major league level. So at the end of my spending spree, my starting rotation looks like this.

1. Wang
2. Matsuzaka
3. Moose
4. Pettitte
5. Hughes

A defenite improvement over last year.

2. Don't trade A-rod

WHAT?!?!?! Yeah, I know every Yankee fan wants to trade A-rod. But why? He's a top 2 player in all of baseball. And if you trade him, the Yankee lineup would be overwhelmingly lefty. A good lefty starter would neutralize them. Sooner or later, A-rod will hit in the playoffs. I'm convinced of this. He's too good not to. At least, I hope he is. He is, right???? RIGHT?!?!?!?

No way I would trade him unless I got an ace starting pitcher and a solid prospect to go along with it. Seems like too much? Well, no it's not consider A-rod is in the prime of his career and if he retired now, he'd still be a first ballot Hall of Famer.

3. Trade Sheffield for a relief pitcher

I'm tired of this fagnut. He complains about every little thing that happens. Plus, he badmouths everyone. If he didn't outweigh me by 100 pounds, I'd challenge him to a fight. If I were GM, I trade him to a team that can hopefully give me some middle relief. See if I can get Scott Shields from Anaheim (who is interested in Sheffield) for Sheff. If not, try to get a decent prospect and look for relief pitching in free agency.

and really, that is all the Yankees need. The Yanks don't have any glaring holes anywhere else. The lineup is still filled with all stars. They still have the greatest closer in baseball history. If they do everything I wrote about here, they should be back in the World Series with no problems.

New York Mets

1. Find a good hitting corner Outfielder, preferrably right handed hitting

Cliff Floyd is as good as gone. He was rumored to be gone since the beginning of the season. So who do you replace him with? Lastings Milledge? The rumor mill is buzzing with talk that they will use him as a chip to trade for someone so he doesn't seem to be a viable option. So who else is out there? Alfonso Soriano? Well, he's the obvious choice. Let's run down the reasons why.

1. He's hispanic. We all know how much Minaya loves hispanics. It's actually, quite disturbing how much he loves them. I better stop before this blog gets homophobic. WHAT?!?!? IT ALREADY IS?!?!?!

2. Willie Randolph loves him. In fact, when they were both on the Yankees, Soriano credited Randolph with helping his transition to second base (soriano was originally a SS prospect).

3. He's already a proven commodity in NY. He's shown up and done things in the playoffs as a Yankee.

4. He has an outstanding power and speed combination.

However, I don't think the Mets will land Soriano. I don't think they are as big on him as they were in the beginning of the season. He's starting to gain a reputation of being sensitive. Will he mesh well in the Mets "rah rah" locker room where LoDuca is the leader and Reyes cracks jokes constantly? Maybe but i think Minaya has his eyes on another hispanic outfielder. His name is Carlos Lee. Stick him in the middle of that Mets order at a more cost friendly price compared to Soriano, the Mets lineup becomes more formidable. This would be the smart move if I'm the Mets GM.

2. Let's get a second baseman

You cannot bank on 56 year old Jose Valentin to have another season like he had last year. However, if you look at the free agent market, it's slim pickings. The best second basemen are Ray Durham and Ronny Belliard. YUCK. So would I try to grab one of them?

2 words.

HELL FUCKING NO

I know. That was three words. Anyways, you try to trade for another second baseman. Who's out there? Ask the LA Dodgers if they are open to trading either Jeff Kent or ,prefferably, Julio Lugo. Or you can go to Plan B and ask the Tamba Bay Devil Rays if they are willing to deal Jorge Cantu. Offer one of the many promising Mets starters in the minors, and we might have a deal with either the Dodgers or Devil Rays. Another good thing about the possibility of getting Lugo or Cantu is the fact that they are both hispanic. I think we went over how much Minaya loves Hispanics.

3. Let's get a Starting Pitcher

After Pedro and El Duque went down before the playoffs, the Mets were in big trouble and their feared lineup was expected to carry them to the World Series. Then something weird happened. Their hitters stopped hitting and their scrub pitchers threw gems. Thing is, can the Metropolitans rely on John Maine or Oliver Perez to do what they did in the postseason over a 162 game season? Going into next season, the Mets don't have anyone they can rely on to start baseball games. Their two supposed aces of Pedro and Glavine have the ability to burn them. Pedro can burn them through the sheer fact that there could be a good chance that he'll never be a great pitcher ever again after surgery. Glavine can burn them by simply not picking up the mutual option that both the Mets and him have. There are grumblings that Glavine wants to go back to Atlanta to finish up his career.

So what do I do about the starting staff? Lets start off by convincing Glavine that he needs to stay here. Then you need to start the chase after Barry Zito. Zito had a good year in the AL. Imagine what he could do in the NL. That 3.83 ERA he posted in the AL can easily be a 3.33 ERA pitching in a pitcher's park like Shea against NL hitters and facing pitchers every 9 hitters. I could go after Matsuzaka but I fully expect the Yankees to blow everyone (no homo) out the water when it comes to bidding for the right to negotiate with him. Now you need another starter. How about someone that just helped eliminate you? Jeff Suppan is a free agent. More then likely though, the Cards will resign him. There are also solid starters like Greg Maddux and Gil Meche available. I'd fill out my final two spots in the rotation with Oliver Perez and John Maine. My five man rotation would be glavine, zito, Meche/Maddux, Perez and Maine until July when Pedro comes back.

Those moves should be good enough to get the Mets into the World Series. Their lineup is stacked and their bullpen is great. So with a bit of tinkering, they should be just as good or better. However the Mets should watch out because the Braves will retool as well and the upstart Marlins will have a full year under their belt. It will be one crazy year in the NL East.

Episode 12: Popa's Pigskin Preview

2007-01-26T11:49:00.000-08:00

Every year I make NFL predictions and every year, i'm totally off. This year shouldn't be any different.

AFC WEST:
1. San Diego Chargers
2. Denver Broncos
3. Kansas City Chiefs
4. Oakland Raiders

The chargers take this division with a ridiculous front seven and arguably the best player in the league. Sure they have Phillip Rivers at QB but 2 of the other 3 teams in this division have Jake Plummer and Aaron Brooks at the helm. I like the Broncos but I have them just missing the playoffs. Great defense but Jake Plummer is shaky especially after the meltdown in the playoffs and now he has Jay Cutler looking over his shoulder. I'm also not a big fan of this RB merry go round they have going there. KC has the tools but their coach is Herman Edwards. He's going to make Marty Schottenheimer look like a genius in this division. Plus what was once the best Offensive line in the league is now rebuilt. Not a good sign for LJ. Only thing I have to say about the Raiders is Aaron Brooks. It's also nice to see a player named Huff in the league.

AFC South:
1. Indianapolis Colts
2. Jacksonville Jaguars
3. Houston Texans
4. Tennessee Titans

Colts are the class of the division here. The defense is still stout and they still have peyton (which means he's bound to choke in the playoffs at one point). I thought Jacksonville was ahead of schedule last year. I think they'll just miss out on the playoffs this year. First bold prediction here is that Garrard might take over for Leftwich at one point this year. I would've picked the Texans as a darkhorse sleeper if Davis didn't have grandma ankles in here knees. BOB reference there. The Titans are a mess except at QB where they are probably the deepest team in the league. Newsflash guys, you can use some of the money y'all spend at QB on other positions! Keith Bulluck is crying behind an elvis statue somewhere.

AFC North:
1. Baltimore Ravens
2. Cincinatti Bengals*
3. Pittsburgh Steelers
4. Cleveland Browns

Call me crazy but I like the Ravens alot. Extremely balanced all around. If Mcnair doesn't get hurt, this team can get a bye in the playoffs. Big If though. Bengals offense is the best in the league. I'm still not sold on their defense. I know what you're thinking. Every year the steelers lose someone and they still make the playoffs. However the division is alot tougher this year then last year and the turnover might be too much. I feel bad for the Browns but they are going in the right direction. They have some type of curse though. Everytime they acquire a big time player, he goes down early in the season.

AFC East:
1. New England Patriots
2. Miami Dolphins*
3. Buffalo Bills
4. NY Jets

Tough time picking b/w the pats and dolphins. Went with the Patriots for now because of Brady. NE has the healthier QB as of now. The Branch situation doesn't scare me that much. They still have a solid defense even though it's not as strong as yester years. The biggest hindrance to a super bowl run is (believe it or not and i can't believe i'm saying this) is losing their kicker. Dolphins offense looks like it's ready to do big things and their defense is still solid. It all depends on whether you see Pro Bowl Daunte or Multiple Turnover Culpepper. Bills might be a sleeper team but their QB situation is really iffy. Can you trust any QB named JP? Didn't think so. The Jets suck. honestly. I can't see how they can muster more then 3 wins.

NFC West:
1. Seattle Seahawks
2. Arizona Cardinals
3. St. Louis Rams
4. San Francisco 49ers

This division will be tougher then you think. Seattle will still probably run through this division but the Rams and Cardinals are improved imo. I like Seattle's chances but Alexander will succumb to the Madden Curse. It never fails. Prepare to die (if only for this season), Mr. Alexander. They did improve their defense which looks very scary on paper. The Cardinals have too much offense and have a defense with a lot of potential. Next year, this might be a team to worry about. The Rams' newfound commitment to the running game will make them better off. Don't have to worry about Martz' gameplans anymore with probably 4 running plays a game. LOL. 49ers need a couple more drafts before they can start competing imo. Vernon Davis will be a beast though.

NFC North:
1. Chicago Bears
2. Minnesota Vikings
3. Detroit Lions
4. Green Bay Packers

I really had a tough time picking a division winner here. Mainly because I think Minnesota is a really strong team that CAN win the division here. They'll at least push for a playoff spot. The Bears defense is too strong though. Plus I think Muhsin Muhammad will be in for a big year too. Especially now that he has a QB that isn't Kyle Orton throwing to him. Minnesota is a very good team. Might have the best offensive line in the NFL. Looks like Chester Taylor might have a breakout year. Could be this year's LJ. Lions could be a solid team. I'm convinced Martz can't be a head coach....just an offensive Coordinator. Marinelli will make sure Martz sprinkles in some runs into the gameplan. Martz might make Roy Williams look extremely good this year though. Packers o-line looks a mess as does their secondary. Who on the Packers is going to generate a pass rush? I can only think of 2 or 3 people off the top of my head. AJ Hawk and Barnett are going to rack up 200 tackles each considering how long they'll both be on the field.

NFC South:
1. Atlanta Falcons
2. Carolina Panthers*
3. Tampa Bay Bucs
4. New Orleans Saints

In my suprise pick of the year, I'm picking the Falcons to win the division over the Panthers. I really like the way the defense looks for the Falcons. That pass rush is going to be sick. I think Vick will play better. He just needs his receivers to hold on to the ball. He'll have a lot of help on the ground with Dunn and Norwood though. I like the Panthers alot. However they always seem to get some type of injury. Disgusting. They probably will win this division if they stay somewhat healthy. D'angelo will be the truth when Deshaun Foster goes down. Tampa Bay just looks old, especially on defense. They need to re build around simms and Cadillac. Saints defense is terrible. But at least they have Jesus in cleats!!!!

NFC East:
1. New York Giants
2. Philedelphia Eagles*
3. Dallas Cowboys
4. Washington Redskins

The Giants are loaded. It all depends on whether Coughlin can put it together and whether Eli is really lined up to take the leap. Usually, young QBs take the leap in their third year. With the weapons surrounding Manning this year, don't be suprised if it does happen. Giants pass rush should be insane and will help protect a suspect secondary. Mcnabb makes a MVP push and carrys the Eagles on his back. I still think the defense is a little suspect even though I'm sure Jim Johnson will help cover up the holes as best he can. I'm really not sold on their corners. I don't know what to think of the cowboys. They can win this division or finish in last. It all depends on if Owens disruptive or not. It seems like Owens was pushed on to Parcells' lap and he really didn't want him. I don't think the offense is as good as advertised. The defense is however. My buddy BOB keeps telling me Brunell is for real. I don't see it. I see a QB that isn't as mobile as he used to be, who's arm is not as strong as used to be, and overall just looks long in the tooth. BOB will bring up the stats and he feels stats don't lie. He is half right....Stats can be misleading. They'll be a solid team. probably finish around 7-9 or 8-8. They finish last by default unfortunately. In another division, they might win the division or make the playoffs through the wild card.

Award Winners:

MVP: Ladainian Tomilson

AFC Offensive Player of the Year: Ladanian Tomilson

NFC Offensive Player of the Year: Eli Manning

Defensive Player of the Year: Ed Reed

NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year: Jesus in Cleats

NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year: AJ Hawk

Popa's Super Bowl Pick:
Carolina Panthers over the Indianapolis Colts

WHAT?!?!? I didn't even pick the panthers as my divisional winner?!?! I feel by the time the stretch run hits, they'll be hitting on all cylinders if they don't get hit by the injury bug. That's a big "if".

Episode 11: Fantasy Futbol HOLLA!

2007-01-26T11:48:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. It's been a while since I wrote you. Can you blame me? Nothing really great in sports right now. I haven't seen a great movie in a while. And I only get hit on by underage chicks (some of my readers would probably think that is a good thing). However, there is one thing I can write about. You can smell it in the air, can't you? Yes, football is on its way. With all this talk of training camps, Terrell Owens, and bulletproof vests, another phenomenon has sinked it's claws into American culture that is tied into the football season. FANTASY FOOTBALL. That's right, with preseason games about to start soon, fantasy football drafts are right around the corner. WHO BETTER THEn BIG POPPA TO DISH OUT FANTASY FOOTBALL RANKINGS AND INFO TO THE NEEDY?!?! Brandon Funston? Cracka plz. Eric Karrabell? He's just not gully enough to tell it how it is. plus he works for the man. On to the show!

Quarterbacks:

1. Peyton Manning
Pros- He's Peyton fucking Manning. Dude's a fantasy machine. Is averaging 35 TD passes a year and 10 INTs a year during the past 3 years. Has thrown for at least 3,700 yards for every year of his career. Has thrown 26 TD passes every year of his career. Plus, with no Edge, there's a chance that the Colts will actually throw more. Has weapons galore.

Cons- Losing Edge is a double edged sword for Peyton's fantasy owners. Sure he'll probably throw more now but don't you think opposing defenses know that? He'll see alot of 2 safeties deep everytime he drops back. Losing James also means his bread and butter (playaction pass) will lose some of it's Edge (pun intended). Peyton better pray addai and rhodes can pick up the slack.

2. Tom Brady
Pros- Throws to everyone and rarely makes a mistake. Has thrown at least 20 TD passes every year since 2002. Threw for 4000 yards last year. Never has thrown more then 15 INTs in his career. Has 2 good running backs that'll keep defenses honest. Safest pick.

Cons- Deion Branch is holding out. Never a good thing to see your #1 receiver holding out. Maroney/Dillon combo will mean less Brady pass attempts. He's a golden boy faggot that takes magazine pictures with his dogs. You usually want your fantasy QB to be more gully then that.

3. Carson Palmer
Pros- Has as much upside as Peyton Manning. Has all the tools and lots of weapons. Threw 32 TD passes last year to lead the league.

Cons- That knee could hold him back. Plus the bengals look like they might run the ball more this year. That would put a hit to Palmer's fantasy value.

3. Matt Hasslebeck
Pros- One of the more efficient QBs last year. Only threw 9 INTs. Has thrown at least 20 tds every year in the past 3 years. Has some solid weapons at his disposal. Because everyone in his division sucks, he faces cupcake defenses.

Cons- He has a severely receding hairline that would give Hulk Hogan a run for his money. All his WRs drop balls. no homo. Nate burleson happens to be a member of his WR core. Lost a huge member of the Offensive line in Hutchinson.

4. Daunte Culpepper
Pros- Has talent and alot of weapons. Let's count them off. Chambers. Booker. Wes Walker. Derek Hagan. Randy McMichael. Ronnie Brown. He is also a rushing threat. Plus unlike Vick, he can actually throw the ball.

Cons- He also has a bum knee and a history of injuries. Plus you have to get over the fact that he fumbles the football more then George W. Bush does with words during his speeches.

5. Eli Manning
Pros- He's a Manning. He also has a multitude of weapons. This could be the year he puts it all together. Unlike Palmer or Culpepper ahead of him, has no injury history.

Cons- Might help you win the important fantasy category of "drunken pictures taken with underage females". You are banking on potential here. He threw 17 INTs last year. Looks like a fucking goofball. His father's name is Archie.

6. Donovan Mcnabb
Pros- He can throw and pass equally well. Has a history of doing it all by himself.

Cons- Has missed large chunks of a season in 2 of the past 4 seasons due to injury. If your grandmother was signed to join their receiving core, it would be considered an upgrade.

7. Marc Bulger
Pros- Has a history of huge passing numbers. WR core looks dangerous.

Cons- Injury History. Has lost one of the best offensive minds in football in Mike Martz.

8. Jake Delhomme
Pros- Is lucky enough to be able to throw to Steve Smith. He also has keyshawn too.

Cons- He looks like taylor hicks in pads.

9. Kurt Warner
Pros- former MVP with weapons galore in arizona.

Cons- Injury history, fumbling problems, and his wife looks tougher then he does.

10. Drew Bledsoe
Pros- Terrell Owens is on his team.

Cons- Terrell Owens is on his team.

Best of the Rest:
11. Trent Green- Good history but now plays in a Herman Edwards offense.
12. Jake Plummer- he was good last year but he's fucking jake plummer.
13. Drew brees- Good QB that's coming off shoulder surgery.
14. Steve McNair- Good QB with weapons around him in Baltimore. Injury history so might have to handcuff with boller.
15. Michael Vick- Runningback playing QB. He throws like a RB too.
16. Byron Leftwich- Retirement of Jimmy Smith hurts.
17. Brett Favre- Could throw more INTs then TD passes.
18. Aaron Brooks- Could be helped by the fact that Randy Moss is on his team.
19. Ben Roflzberger- Just pray he puts on his helmet during football games.
20. David Carr- Pray that his offensive line can keep him off his ass cause he has the talent and weapons.

Running backs:

1. Larry Johnson
Pros- Was on fire at the end of last year. Finished last year with 21 total TDs and over 2000 yards total offense. Herman Edwards is the type of coach that will run the ball on third and 8 so you know LJ will get alot of carries. Has one of the best Offensive lines in the NFL blocking for him.

Cons- Willie Roaf retired. With the Chiefs weak receivers coupled with Herman Edwards unimaginative playcalling, LJ could see alot of 8 man fronts.

2. LaDainian Tomilson
Pros- Does it all. Runs the ball effective and catches the ball out of the backfield. Scored 20 TDs last year. With Phillip Rivers at the helm, you can expect a steady dosage of Tomilson.

Cons- Is only the second best player of all time with the same initials. Fact that Rivers is at the helm could mean that he'll see alot of 8 man fronts. Has touched teh ball alot in the past 4 years....he could break down sooner then expected.

3. Shaun Alexander
Pros- Remarkably consistent. Has scored 20 TDs in each of the past two years, including the record last year. Owns 2 of the top 20 rushing seasons of all time. Durable.

Cons- Lost huge piece of o-line in hutchinson. Is on the Madden cover this year. All players who've had legendary years have really down years the next year. Not much of a receiver at all.

4. Clinton Portis
Pros- Great talent with immense speed. New offensive coordinator (al Saunders) has a history of getting the best out of his RBs. Gibbs likes to run the ball alot.

Cons- Plays in an extremely tough division when it comes to defenses. Treats everyday like it's holloween. Wouldn't be suprised if there's a scandal involving him, a couple hoggettes, and a motel room.

5. Tiki Barber
Pros- He is Tomilson lite. Runs well and catches well. Lead league in total yards from scrimmage last year. scored at least 11 tds in each of last 2 years. In a juggernaut of an offense.

Cons- Has fumbling history even the he's been good the past 2 years. He is on the wrong side of 30. Brandon Jacobs could vulture some TDs away from him.

Best of the Rest:
6. Edge- Does everything well and now plays in a great offense in arizona.
7. Rudi Johnson- Could be a breakout year this year for Rudi.
8. Ronnie Brown- a player very similar to Edge in style.
9. Lamont jordan- Art Shell will run the ball more.
10. Steven Jackson- Needs to be more consistent but has alot of potential.
11. Cadillac- Injury bug hit him during his rookie season.
12. Domanick Davis- very consistent RB.
13. Kevin Jones- pray that Martz doesn't neglect him like he did with Faulk sometimes.
14. Brian Westbrook- would be a ranked higher if he was more durable and got more touches.
15. Willis Mcgahee- great RB in a horrible situation.
16. Julius Jones- handcuff with marion barber III.
17. Warrick Dunn- lots of yards, not alot of scores.
18. Chester Taylor- could have a breakout year with a huge o-line blocking for him.
19. Corey dillon- Has come to training camp looking downright sexy.
20. Reggie Bush- He will touch the ball alot. running, catching, or kick and punt returns.

Wide Receivers:

1. Steve Smith
Pros- He either lead the league or tied the league lead in receptions, receiving yards, and TD catches. Keyshawn should take some of the pressure of him. He'll also get the ball alot on end arounds and on punt returns.

Cons- Smallish WR isn't exactly a redzone threat. He did miss a whole year 2 years ago so he does have an injury history. Plays in a balanced offense.

2. Terrell Owens
Pros- Probably the biggest endzone threat out of all the WRs. Will see majority of the balls thrown his way in the passing attack.

Cons- He can self destruct at anytime. Bill Parcells is always a run first head coach. Drew Bledsoe is his QB.

3. Chad Johnson
Pros- Redzone threat. Good to catch about 90+ balls. Has an excellent QB throwing to him.

Cons- Even though Carson Palmer is great, he is injured. This could lead to the bengals running the ball more in the beginning of the season to protect palmer more.

4. Tory Holt
Pros- Tory Big Game Holt is clearly the best WR in his unit. Will see the majority of the balls thrown his way. Good for at least 90-100 catches. Always consistent.

Cons- Missed 2 games last year due to injury for the first time in his career. Rams plan to run more. Since he is clearly the best WR on the team, defenses will pay alot of attention to him.

5. Larry Fitzgerald
Pros- Big WR that is an endzone threat. Plays in a pass happy system. Tied for the league lead in receptions last year. Defenses can't key on him. Since the defense isn't very good, team will be playing from behind alot.....that means more passing.

Cons- Has to share the ball with Anquan Boldin.

6. Randy Moss
Pros- Most talented WR in the game. Should be good for 10 TDs. Can score from anywhere in the field.

Cons- Doesn't always play hard. Whizzinator can fall out of his uniform at any moment.

7. Marvin Harrison
Pros- Peyton's favorite WR. Mr. Consistent. Scored 12 TDs last year. Plays in a pass happy offense that might pass even more this year.

Cons- Is a little long in the tooth. Stats wise, he has been on the decline. Reggie Wayne might steal some catches from him.

Best of the Rest:
8. Anquan Boldin- Same advantages as Fitzgerald except not as much of a redzone threat and more of an injury concern.
9. Chris Chambers- Duante to Chambers combo could be something to look out for this season. Big redzone threat.
10. Hines Ward- Could be the best all around WR in the NFL. Unfortunately, plays in a run first offense.
11. Darrell Jackson- Could be higher on this list if he didn't drop the ball so much. Plus Alexander gets all the touches in the redzone.
12. Santana Moss- Played like a top 10 WR last year and could be even better with a better supporting cast this year since the defense will key on him less. Could also mean less looks.
13. Plaxico Burress- Eli's security blanket and a huge redzone threat with his size.
14. Roy Williams- Could be one of two things. A breakout year or another dissappointing season.
15. Donald Driver- The packers could be trailing alot. That means Driver will be catching alot of passes.
16. Javon Walker- Could be a huge suprise coming off injury.
17. Deion Branch- Brady's favorite option is hindered by the fact QB spreads it around.
18. Joey Galloway- Great speed WR that is held back because of chris simms. Getting old.
19. Derrick Mason- McNair and Mason are reunited. Chemistry is a big thing with WRs and QBs.
20. Andre Johnson- Could breakout. Again. O-line needs to hold up though.

Tight Ends:

1. Antonio Gates
Pros- Always an endzone threat. Always good for at least 10 TDs. Is the primary receiver in the Chargers offense.

Cons- Is playing with a first year QB. Chargers expect to run the ball more this year.

2. Tony Gonzalez
Pros- Primary receiver in the Chiefs offense. Good for 70 catches.

Cons- Herman Edwards unimaginative playcalling so Chiefs will probably run the ball more then last year. LJ is getting all the touches in the redzone.

3. Jeremy Shockey
Pros- Plays in a pass happy offense. Redzone threat.

Cons- Is always nicked up. Will probably have more blocking responsibilities then anyone in the top 5 other then crumpler.

4. Todd Heap
Pros- Finally has a reliable QB to throw the ball to him. Has been remarkably good without a good QB.

Cons- Always an injury risk.

5. Alge Crumpler
Pros- Vick's favorite target.

Cons- Has to rely on Vick throwing him the ball.

Best of the Rest:
6. Chris Cooley- Al Saunders utilizes the TE a good deal. Cooley was already very good last year.
7. Jason Witten- Consistently good TE
8. Randy McMichael- Finally has a good QB throwing him the ball.
9. Heath Miller- Good TE. Run-first offense.
10. LJ Smith- Reggie Brown might be McNabb's only other reliable receiver.
11. Ben Watson- Brady loves to throw to those TEs and Watson is clearly the best one.
12. Vernon Davis- Who else is alex smith going to throw to? Plus he IS a freak.

Kickers:
1. Adam Vinatieri- Game's best reality kicker now plays on NFL's best offense.
2. Neil Rackers- Will defenitely get alot of opportunities. Strong leg.
3. Jason Elam- Has always been an extremly reliable kicker.
4. Jay Feely- will get alot of opportunities with that great offense.
5. Mike Vanderjagt- Has the cowboys finally solved their kicking problems?
6. Shayne Graham- Had a really good year last year. Offense is still kinda weak.
7. Jeff Wilkins
8. John Kasay
9. Josh Brown
10. Matt Stover

Defense:
1. Chicago Bears- Stingiest defense in the nfl plays in the worst division. pretty easy pick.
2. Pittsburgh Steelers- Blitzing scheme accumulates sacks and causes turnovers.
3. Carolina Panthers- That defensive line gets alot of sacks. that means lots of points.
4. Indy colts- Freeney and a suprising amount of turnovers.
5. Tampa Bay Bucs- A good all around defensive unit.
6. Seattle Seahawks- Defense actually improved over last year.
7. Baltimore Ravens- Always a sound unit to pick in the later rounds.
8. Jacksonville Jaguars- Very stingy unit.
9. New York Giants- Should accumulate alot of sacks.
10. Washington Redskins- Gregg Williams' defenses always play well.

Episode 10: Popa's Baseball First Half Report

2007-01-26T11:47:00.000-08:00

Popa is back with an all new blog filled with goodies for people of all shapes, sizes, and ages! Today I will go through what I feel should be the awards of the first half of the baseball season. SO HOLLA AND TAKE A LOOK NUKKA

Popa's AL All Star Rosters:

Starting Lineup:

C- Joe Mauer, Min
1B- David Ortiz, Bos
2B- Tadahito Iguchi, CWS
3B- Alex Rodriguez, NYY
SS- Derek Jeter, NYY
OF- Ichiro Suzuki, Sea
OF- Jermaine Dye, CWS
OF- Manny Ramierez, Bos
SP- Francisco Liriano, Min

Bench:

C-Victor Martinez, Cle
1B- Travis Hafner, Cle
1B- Jim Thome, CWS
SS- Michael Young, Tex
SS- Miguel Tejada, Bal
3B- Troy Glaus, Tor
OF- Carl Crawford, TB
OF- Vladimir Guerrero, Ana
OF- Vernon Wells, Tor
OF- Magglio Ordonez, Det

SP- Johan Santana, Min
SP- Jose Contreras, CWS
SP- Justin Verlander, Det
SP- Roy Halladay, Tor
SP- Scott Kazmir, TB
SP- Jeremy Bonderman, Det
SP- Curt Schilling, Bos
SP- Barry Zito, Oak
RP- Jon Papelbon, Bos
RP- Mariano Rivera, NYY
RP- BJ Ryan, Tor
RP- Bobby Jenks, CWS
RP- Joe Nathan, Min

Comments:

It is tough as hell leaving off players like Paul Konerko, Francisco Rodriguez, Raul Ibanez, Mike Mussina, Ramon Hernandez, and, to a lesser degree, Pudge. It just shows you how stacked the Junior Circuit is. Every team is represented except Kansas City and I'm sure no one feels bad about that. Let's face it, KC is where baseball players go to rot away and die. If any of my friends had players from KC on their fantasy rosters, I'd make fun of them mercilessly. Mark Redman? BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH, worst rule ever. I know KC got a couple of players coming up in Alex Gordon and Butler who are supposed to be pretty good hitters but who are we kidding? Kansas City is officially just a football town. What's up with this talk of Gary Matthews being an All Star or even an MVP candidate?!?!?! Matthews is a good player but is every analyst on Baseball tonight and SI on LSD and didn't tell anyone yet? ITS GARY MATTHEWS JUNIOR GUYS!!!!! JUST WANTED TO LET YOU IN ON THAT LITTLE FACT!!!! BTW, There are no second basemen in the American League.

Popa's NL ALL Star Rosters:

Starting Lineup:

C-Johnny Estrada, Ari
1B- Albert Pujols, STL
2B- Chase Utley, Phi
3B- David Wright, NYM
SS- Jose Reyes, NYM
OF- Carlos Lee, Mil
OF- Carlos Beltran, NYM
OF- Alfonso Soriano, Was
SP- Brandon Webb, Ari

Bench:

C- Brian McCann, Atl
1B- Ryan Howard, Phi
1B/OF- Lance Berkman, Hou
2B- Dan Uggla, Fla
3B- Miguel Cabrera, Fla
3B- Scott Rolen, STL
OF- Jason Bay, Pitt
OF- Matt Holliday, Col
OF- Andruw Jones, Atl
Utility- Nomar Garciaparra, LAD

SP- Jason Schmidt, SF
SP- Pedro Martinez, NYM
SP- Tom Glavine, NYM
SP- Carlos Zambrano, CHC
SP- Brad Penny, LAD
SP- Bronson Arroyo, Cin
SP- Chris Capuano, Mil
SP- Chris Carpenter, STL
RP- Billy Wagner, NYM
RP- Trevor Hoffman, SD
RP- Tom Gordon, PHI
RP- Jason Isringhausen, STL
RP- Brian Fuentes, Col

Comments: The NL talent pool is depleted. I had a surplus of players that were All Star caliber in the AL. I had trouble finding players to fill my all star roster in the NL. WTF AT THESE NL CATCHERS?!?! They can't be serious. I was forced to put Izzy and Fuentes on the all star roster. They are solid closers but does anyone actually feel that they played like All Stars this year? Look at the AL bench compared to the NL bench. Not even a contest. The pitching in the NL isn't even that deep. Look at the castoffs from the AL who are no pitching in the NL and are now conisdered aces. Arroyo. Chris Young. They are going to make themselves alot of money just because they are pitching in a suckier league. Now look at guys like Beckett and Pavano from last year. Let me remind everyone that i've been saying that the AL was the better league by far since the beginning of the year. Peep my baseball preview for further evidence.

AL Comeback Player of the Year- Jim Thome, CWS

Comments: Not even a contest here. Who in the AL has come back stronger then Toemay? Curt Schilling? Probably but I'd still vote for Thome confidently over Schilling.

NL Comeback Player of the Year- Carlos Beltran, NYM

Comments: Nomar could easily get anyones vote here. However, no one expected anything from Nomar. Not only did no one expect anything from Beltran but fans booed him mercilessly at the beginning of the year. It was almost at "A-rod at yankee stadium after he ends an inning with a double play with a runner on third" levels. He came back in a pressure packed situation. That earns him a few more points imo.

AL Manager of the Year-
1. Jim Leyland, Det
2. Joe Torre, NYY
3. Ozzie Guillen, CWS

Comments: I didn't think Torre would have a better job managing a team then last year but he's topped that so far this year. However, Leyland has one upped him. He seems to be pushing all the right buttons in Detroit right now. Gotta hand it to him. Dude's been out of baseball for a couple years and didn't seem to miss a beat.

NL Manager of the Year-
1. Willie Randolph, NYM
2. Clint Hurdle, Col
3. Grady Little, LAD

Comments: Everything Randolph is doing seems to work out. Plugging in Jose Valentin (are you fucking kidding me? When is this guy gonna start to strike out every other at bat?) at second, and even subbing in endy chavez and chris woodward in certain games. I don't have a single clue how Hurdle is keeping his team over .500 and in the NL West race. He deserves some props for this here. It's funny seeing Grady Little's name in a Manager of the Year discussion. Isn't it even funnier that he's still managing Nomar and Derek Lowe?

AL Rookie of the Year-
1. Francisco Liriano, Min
2. Jonathan Papelbon, Bos
3. Justin Verlander, Det
4. Kenji Johjima, Sea
5. Jered Weaver, Ana

Preaseason pick for AL ROY- Francisco Liriano

Comments: Paps and Liriano can easily be flip flopped. I went with Liriano. Paps is showing signs of getting hit lately while Liri has STILL looked dominant. The back end of the contenders are all very good players with good futures. Except for maybe Johjima. I think he's something like 31. Ian Kinsler deserves an honorable mention. He's been playing fairly solid for texas at second base.

NL Rookie of the Year-
1. Dan Uggla, Fla
2. Prince Fielder, Mil
3. Josh Johnson, Fla
4. Ryan Zimmerman, Was
5. Hanley Ramirez, Fla

Preaseason pick for NL ROY- Prince Fielder

Comments: Uggla has come out of nowhere and has become arguably one of the better second basemen in the league right now. He is putting up Bret Boone numbers right now. Not bad. I still think when all is said and done, Prince will end up taking this award at the end of the year however. Florida is chock full of young talent. At the end of the year, the Marlin rookies will all take votes away from each other.

AL Cy Young:
1. Francisco Liriano, Min
2. Jonathan Papelbon, Bos
3. Johan Santana, Min
4. Roy Halladay, Tor
5. BJ Ryan, Tor

Preaseason pick for AL Cy Young- Johan Santana

Comments: The top two look eerily familiar to my AL ROY top two. They were both defenitely the best two pitchers in the AL during the first half of the season. However, don't dismiss what BJ ryan has been doing in Toronto. If there was no Paps, we'd all probably be salivating over BJ (should i No homo this?).

NL CY Young:
1. Brandon Webb, Ari
2. Bronson Arroyo, Cin
3. Pedro Martinez, NYM
4. Jason Schmidt, SF
5. Trevor Hoffman, SD

Preaseason pick for NL Cy Young- Roy Oswalt

Comments: Webb has pitched lights out so far. Easily winning this first half award. Alot of people seem to hate on Trevor Hoffman but he's been fucking stellar so far this year.

AL MVP:
1. David Ortiz, Bos
2. Derek Jeter, NYY
3. Jim Thome, CWS
4. Vernon Wells, Tor
5. Jon Papelbon, Bos

Preaseason pick for AL MVP- Derek Jeter

Comments: I hate picking DHs for MVP but Ortiz is having a monster year. Again. Big Papi is the scariest left handed hitter in baseball. Bar none. Disgusting. Jeter (even though many of you hate him) has been leading the patchwork yankees through a difficult stretch.

NL MVP:
1. Albert Pujols, STL
2. David Wright, NYM
3. Lance Berkman, Hou
4. Carlos Lee, Mil
5. Carlos Beltran, NYM

Preaseason Pick for NL MVP- David Wright

Comments: As much as I want to give Wright the first half award, Pujols has been more important to his team then David Wright has. Albert was on a Ruthian pace at the beginning of the year too. Don't be suprised if he goes back on a similar tear once he's gotten back to the swing of things. Berkman has BEEN the offense for the Astros. So has Carlos Lee. At the end of the year, Beltran might be the reason why Wright doesn't win MVP. They'll both share some votes.

Episode 9: An Athlete named Andrea?!?!?

2007-01-26T11:46:00.000-08:00

The NBA draft is one of my favorite times of the year. Lots of fun especially since I know alot of these players because I watch alot of college basketball. The Euro trash usually throw a wrench in my draft analysis because I usually know nothing about them. I'll try to get my hands on some type of video from websites or whatever but that's really not enough to form a good opinion on a basketball player. Also the past couple years, it's been dissappointing since with TNT, Hubie Brown and Charles Barkley always gave the best comments on each athlete. However this year, it was suprising entertaining with the highlight being David Stern's godfather like comments after Dan Patrick tried to mock the commish. Never test, David Stern. Of course, I also always enjoy how uncomfortable Stern looks when he's announcing trades. Anyways, on to the grades.

Atlanta Hawks: C

Added:
Shelden Williams, PF-C
Solomon Jones- PF

I like Shelden Williams alot as a player....might be because he looks like redman with down syndrome. The guys a blue collar athlete who will rebound and block shots. Something the Hawks will need since they were porous on the defensive end last year. However, THEY PASSED UP A POINT GUARD AGAIN. Foye or Marcus Williams would've been good pickups here. Also, they could've easily gotten Shelden Williams anywhere from 10-14. A defenite reach. Their second round pick will be a non factor. Lightweight with a long wingspan. BOOOOOOOOOO.

Boston Celtics: C

Added:
Sebastian Telfair, PG
Theo Ratliff, PF-C
Rajon Rondo, PG
Leon Powe, PF

What Boston did makes no sense to me. None. Rondo has no jump shot and is inconsistent as hell. Sure he's a very good athlete but he doesn't seem to have the basketball skills. Plus they add Telfair to the PG rotation which already consists of Delonte West. Why? If they don't pull off another trade, none of this is any good. I still like Telfair and think he can be something good but all I can do is laugh at this Cerberus at the PG spot. Leon Powe saves Boston from an almost failing grade. I think he's a steal. Perhaps a bit undersized but the man can rebound and score with the best of them. BEAST. Could be a powe man's Elton Brand LOL LOL LOL. Sorry, had to do it.

Charlotte Bobcats: B+

Added:
Adam Morrison, SF
Ryan Hollins, C

Bobcats added what they basically needed. Someone that can put points on the board. I've been big on Adam even though he's not a great athlete. He can score from anywhere on the court, in a multitude of ways, from many different types of angles. I can defenitely see him be a consistent 20 ppg scorer in the NBA for years. Fuck Ryan Hollins. He ain't shit.

Chicago Bulls: A

Added:
Ty Thomas, PF
Thabo Sfelosha, SG-SF

Fuck the Bulls. Not only do they always swindle the Knicks, but they always make good personnel moves. Fucking pisses me off. Ty Thomas is probably the best athlete in this draft and could be scary good. Very aggressive and a best on the boards and on defense. I don't know alot about Thabo but from what I hear, he's a very good defensive prospect. You'll need him to guard players like Wade, Lebron, Michael Redd, Adam Morrison, Vince Carter, Richard Jefferson and Jamal Crawford (LOL J/K) in the Eastern Conference. Paxson is setting these guys up for the long haul. If they ever win a championship in the coming years, they NEED to send a ring to Isiah for setting them up. Knowing Isiah, he'd probably take all the credit too. Faggot.

Cleveland Cavaliers: B

Added:
Shannon Brown, SG
Daniel Gibson, PG

Flip Murray's a free agent. For most teams, they'd probably not give a shit. But he was actually good for the Cavs so they needed insurance and got a good one in Shannon Brown. SICK ATHLETE. Sick hops, extremely strong, and has a good jump shot. He also loves to play defense. He reminds me of a football player playing basketball. I mean that in a good way. I'm not a big fan of Gibson but i'm sure he'll play given the Cavs' horrid PG rotation. ERIC SNOW IS STILL ALIVE?!?!?!

Dallas Mavericks: C+

Added:
Maurice Ager, SG

Solid pickup. Dallas always drafts well (well, other then Pavel Podkolzine LOL). He can shoot and defend (see a trend with these Michigan State players?). Will be a solid role player for the Mavericks. Heard he's a big church guy. You know that'll set him up for more minutes in Avery "YOU NEED JESUS" Johnson's rotation.

Denver Nuggets: F

Added: Nobody

JESUS CHRIST DO SOMETHING FAGGOTS. YOU DO REALIZE THAT YOU NEED A SHOOTER AND SOMEONE TO TAKE THE SCORING BURDEN OFF CARMELO, RIGHT?!?!

Detroit Pistons: F

Added:
Cheik Samb, C
Will Blalock, PG

The Pistons haven't had a single good pick since Tayshaun Prince. Joe Dumars is making money and fame off moves he made 2-3 years ago. If Paxson or Colangelo was the GM of Detroit, they probably would've had one more trophy on their mantle. OVERRATED GM. However, this is coming from a Knicks fan so take that with a grain of salt.

Golden State Warriors: F

Added:
Patrick O'Bryant, C
Some guy from Serbia, C

WOW THE WARRIORS DRAFTED ANOTHER CENTER ALONG WITH GREAT PICKS LIKE ERICK DAMPIER, ADONAL FOYLE, AND ANDRES BIEDRINS. Sooner or later, you have to see that you have a bad track record at drafting a certain position so you'll go another route. NO NOT THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS. WHEN AT FIRST YOU DONT SUCEED, TRY TRY AGAIN.

Houston Rockets: F

Added:
Shane Battier, SF
Steve Novak, PF-C
Lior Eliyahu, SF

The Rockets trade a potential all star for a role player. CAN SOMEONE GIVE ME A CHANCE TO BE A NBA GM? Jesus christ. I've always said, whenever you are given a chance, draft a UCONN player because you won't be dissappointed. The past few years, I've been proven right. Even when people thought Villanueva was a bad pick. Calhoun's system rarely caters to great individual seasons and Gay played on a star studded team last year. Battier isn't bad but Gay could be so much more (NO HOMO). Novak could turn out to be a nice little role player. A Brad Lohaus type. Eliyahu is from Israel. That alone gave the Rockets a failing grade. But trust me, they probably would've failed even if they didn't draft a Jew.

Indiana Pacers: F

Added:
Shawne Williams, SF-PF
James White, SG

Another failure. This time it's not who the team picked but who the team passed up. This team's starting point guard is Anthony Johnson and they pass up Marcus Williams?!?! AM I IN RETARDO NBA?!?!? THATS RIGHT NOT BIZZARO BUT RETARDO. Shawne Williams can turn out to be a decent prospect but this team is ready to compete now and Shawne Williams isn't ready now. Marcus could've helped this team alot next season. Leave it to Larry Bird to fall in love with a SF that loves to shoot threes. DID SOMEONE FORGET TO TELL HIM THAT SHAWNE IS WHITE?!?!?!

LA Clippers: B-

Added:
Paul Davis, C
Guillermo Diaz, PG

I thought Davis was unfairly hated on in college. The man always competed and played solid. 7 foot big men with nice jumpers are hard to come around. He'll be a good backup center for a while. Don't know much about Diaz but from what I hear, he is a prospect that alot of teams wanted to get their hands on. Never thought I'd be propping Elgin Baylor as a GM. One crazy year, huh?

LA Lakers: F

Added:
Jordan Farmar, PG
Danilo Pinnock, SG

Don't like Farmar and I don't know much about Pinnock other then the fact that he has a funny name. Right now Kobe is thinking "Good, two more players I don't have to pass the ball!"

THATS RIGHT KOBE!! WELL UNLESS ITS GAME 7 OF A CRUCIAL PLAYOFF SERIES AND YOU DONT FEEL LIKE PLAYING ANYMORE!

Memphis Grizzlies: A

Added:
Rudy Gay, SF
Stromile Swift, PF
Kyle Lowry, PG
Alexander Johnson, PF

The Logo came through with an awesome draft. Rudy Gay has the potential to be the best player from this draft. The only player with real superstar ability. He just has to prove it (not exactly the words you want to hear as a Memphis fan). Memphis was hurting at PG last year and they get a solid one in Lowry. Stromile Swift and Johnson will provide good PF depth behind Gasol and can probably play alongside him.

Miami Heat: A

Added:
THE SOUL OF EVERY REFEREE IN WADE'S BACK POCKET

What? Dwyane Wade wants to take Esther Baxter out to dinner? Does she wear a zebra shirt and a whistle around her neck?

Milwaukee Bucks: C+

Added:
David Noel, SF
Damir Markota, PF

I was suprised Noel didn't get picked until midway in the second round. I liked him alot. He's extremely strong for a swingman and he's a very good defensive player. Could turn out to be a solid role player in the NBA.

Minnesota T-wolves: B

Added:
Randy Foye, PG-SG
Craig Smith, PF
Loukas Mavrokefalidis, C

Foye is an excellent pick. I compared him to a poor man's gilbert arenas. Greg Anthony had a spot on comparison of Chauncey Billups. Could be a great combo guard for the T-wolves. Not a big fan of Craig Smith. He had a good college game that I dont think will translate in the NBA. Only 2 good things have come out of Greece. Gyros and hot women. Loukas should just entertain people everywhere and change his name to Loco and pick up a hispanic accent.

New Jersey Nets: A

Added:
Marcus Williams, PG
Josh Boone, PF-C
Hassan Adams, SG

Rod Thorn is a top 5 GM in the NBA. Up there with Paxson, RC Buford, Jerry Colangelo, and Jerry West. And he followed my "Pick UCONN players, trust me, you won't regret it" plan to a T. Marcus Williams was the best pure PG in this draft. He should've probably been picked 15 picks earlier. A true playmaker with clutch ability doesn't come by often. Now he gets to learn the game from Jason Kidd and adds more to the Nets attack. Josh Boone is perfect for the Nets. He rebounds and plays defense extremely well. That's what the Nets need most. He'll play significant minutes from the outset off the bench and in a couple years, could start for them. I was very high on Boone before the draft. Another sure thing in NBA drafts is selecting players from Arizona. Adams is an amazing athlete. Reminds me alot of Q-rich before he became a 3 point chucker. Great rebounder from the SG position and can create his own shot. Projects to be a very good defender in the NBA.

New Orleans Hornets: B+

Added:
Hilton Armstrong, C
Cedric Simmons, PF
Marcus Vinicius Vieira de Souza, SF

The Hornets needed frontcourt help and they got some in this draft to help out PJ Brown. Hilton Armstrong's a very good defensive player and rebounder. His offense leaves a little to be desired though. Playing with Paul will open things up for him offensively. Simmons can turn out to be a Stromile Swift type player in the NBA.

New York Knicks: F-

Added:
Renaldo Balkman, SG-SF
Mardy Collins, SG-PG

I am now officially on suicide watch. SUICIDE BOMBER WATCH THAT IS!!!!!!!

Orlando Magic: B-

Added:
JJ Redick, SG
James Augustine, PF

DARKOS GONNA BE DRAWING THOSE DOUBLE TEAMS, JJ. GET READY TO SHOOT, MAYNE

Philly 76ers: B-

Added:
Rodney Carney, SF
Bobby Jones, SF
Some guy from Bosnia, C. No, i'm not making this stuff up.

Carney is probably the best athlete in this draft and can shoot the rock pretty well. One small problem. ANDRE IGUODALA PLAYS HIS POSITION.

Phoenix Suns: D

Added:
A future first round pick from the Boston Celtics.

Wow, that was no fun.

Portland Trailblazers: B

Added:
LaMarcus Aldridge, PF
Brandon Roy, SG
Sergio Rodriguez, PG
Raef Lafrentz, PF-C
Joel Freeland, PF

Ummmm, made enough trades guys? I like the Roy and Rodriguez picks alot. Roy especially. Him and Morrison were the most NBA ready players in the draft. Roy can do everything. And the talk of Sergio being an European Streetballer can only mean good things in terms of entertainment value (in a good and bad way). Aldridge is a nice player but I don't see him being more then a 17-18 ppg scorer in the NBA, if he's that at all. I don't know much about freeland. Two bad things to come out of this draft for the Portland Trailblazers. They had to pick up Raef Lafrentz' contract. Also, they didn't draft any convicts. The fanbase will be terribly dissappointed.

Sacramento Kings: C+

Added:
Quincy Douby, PG-SG

Douby is a pure combo guard. Mainly a scoring guard though. He can shoot from anywhere in the gym. Not much of a playmaker though. Plus his name sounds like drug paraphenelia. You know Ron Artest is smiling somewhere. The guy's playing with Powder (aka Mike Bibby) and Douby.

San Antonio Spurs: F

Added:
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING

C'mon, RC. DO SOMETHING. AT LEAST DROP YOUR LAST NAME AND TELL PEOPLE YOU'LL BE REFERRED TO AS MR. COLA FROM NOW ON. PLZ!!!!!!!!!

Seattle Supersonics: F

Added:
Mouhamed Saer Sene, C
Denham Brown, SG
Yotam Halperin, PG

Wow, they drafted a center 3 straight years. Plz refer to my Golden State Warriors comments. PLZ GUYS. Can I please be a GM in the NBA. PLEASE. The one positive out of this is they stayed true to my Uconn theory. However, they drafted an Israeli. You know what that means? A big fat F on their report card......and quite possibly some bomb threats. yeah right. Who's going to bomb Seattle?

Toronto Raptors: B

Added:
Andrea Bargnani, PF
PJ Tucker, SF

Colangelo is an outside the box GM. He went outside the box in this draft. Picked a player that could be a Dirk clone. He can crash and burn with this pick but he made a ballsy move.

Utah Jazz: B

Added:
Ronnie Brewer, SG-SF
Dee Brown, PG
Paul Millsap, PF

Ronnie Brewer's a good pick here. They needed a swingman that can get into the paint. Brewer's the man for the job. Plus he can play D and is a good playmaker from the swingman spot. Like this pick alot. They also reunited Dee Brown and Deron Williams. I like Dee Brown. Can be a bobby Jackson type off the bench. instant energy. WTF IS A MILLSAP?!?! He put up good collegiate numbers but i know almost nothing about him other then the fact that he rebounds like a beast.

Washington Wizards: F

Added:
A couple of Russians

McCarthyism came 55 years too early. Russians are infiltrating our nation's capital. DONT WORRY ABOUT THE MUSLIMS. ITS THE RUSSIANS WE NEED TO BE WORRIED ABOUT

Episode 8: The Hell in Mecca

2007-01-26T11:45:00.002-08:00

It's not everyday you see a Hall of Fame coach fired. Not just any coach. A coach where in the 2 seasons previous to the last one, he led his prior team to 2 straight Finals appearances, including one NBA championship. A year later, the team is looking for ways around paying the rest of a 40 million dollar contract to a person they unceremoniously dropped....A coach they are publicly trying to slander.....a man they are committing libel against in the tabloids. This is the story of the New York Knicks and Larry Brown. A divorce many saw coming when this union came about 11 months ago.

So why did the Knicks sign on a coach that wasn't in a stage of his career where he was ready to take on a rebuilding project? Is the team run that badly run that they didn't know they needed a coach that could develop young players but instead added a coach that was built for a veteran team and to give experienced players roles. Well, in a word......yes, the team is that poorly run. OK FINE, THATS 7 WORDS. You might think this blog's target might be one certain Isiah Thomas. Many GMs are called rebuilders. I like to call Isiah the debuilder. He's basically destroyed every organization he's headed. He owned the CBA at one point. Ran it into the ground. He ran the Toronto Raptors organization. They never made the playoffs while he was GM. He coached the Indiana Pacers. He underachieved with a talented roster. And now, we come to the abomination of a job he's done running the New York Knicks. Putting the team in more salary cap hell and acquiring assets that other teams do not want. David Stern, in order to help the knicks, created the Allan Houston rule in order to help the Knicks. What did Isiah do? Do the opposite common sense would tell any normal being to do. Not cut Allan Houston, of course. This is a man that acquired a point guard with no leadership abilities and an abundance of ego. This is a man that acquired a center with heart problems (in all senses of the word) and traded first round picks in the process to get him. This is a man that traded a contract that expired in two years for Malik Rose. This is a man that that cuts Tim Thomas only to see him be a productive member of a championship contender. This is a man that turns gold to lead, wine to water and then to urine. This is man is the personification of the Grim Reaper. Everything he touches.....it pretty much whithers and dies. And now he's the head coach of the New York Knicks.

However, it is not just Isiah Thomas who is the problem here. It's the decision making of James Dolan, the owner of the Madison Square Garden conglomerate. He basically owns Cablevision (the cable company that fuels TVs of pretty much half the tri state area), Radio City Music Hall, Madison Square Garden, the New York Knicks, and the New York Rangers. It started when he felt Dave Checketts wasn't the man to run the New York Knicks and then hired Layden. He then hired Don Nelson as head coach. The culmination of which is now him sticking with Isiah Thomas through thick and thin. James Dolan is the worst owner in all of sports. He is George Steinbrenner.....except he has half the brain. At least, Steinbrenner demands his GMs to go after talented players. Dolan wants his GMs to acquire retreads in hopes that their name power will drive fans to the seats. ON THE CONTRARY, the moves have driven the fans insane. I know affectinately call Dolan, D'oh-lan. It is painfully obvious that Dolan needs to fire Isiah and hire someone with a Basketball acumen and just simply not take a hands on approach. It's cute when Mark Cuban is cursing at the NBA commissioner or Paul Allen is trying to chastise some of his Jailblazers. Dolan is just downright embarassing. Just ask anyone who's seen him front his Blues band.

If you would've told me 10 years ago that the basketball Mecca of the world would be ruined by two idiots who don't have the foggiest idea of what's going on around them. ....I would've thought that be a pretty neat practical joke. But here we are. Laughing at this atrocity on the court along with every other NBA fan in the league. Unfortunately, they aren't laughing with us. The jokes on us.

Episode 7: In my mid 20's and I still might get carded

2007-01-26T11:45:00.001-08:00

So I'm on my way to the Car Wash, not to wash my car as you might think, but to get my oil changed. I don't know, but there's something about the way they change my oil that really tickles my feathers. I know nothing about vehicles so I let them molest it however way they see fit. Anyways, I'm on the way to the car wash and I'm listening to 105.1 on the radio because sometimes a real G like me does that. That's right. I know the radio is too mainstream and most people are listening to I-pods and albums and all that good stuff and not listening to pop saturated radio but that's what the government wants you to do. So my way of sticking to the man is by sometimes listening to the man. By the way, fuck this I-pod buisness too. How do you know the government isn't secretly working with Apple to tap everyone's I-Pod to see what they are listening to? I know what you're thinking. How is this important? This is just the first step to quelling the revolution. Music, Movies, TV programming, and books are all a way to solicit revolution amongst the common citizens. What better way then to see what these people are listening, reading and watching so later on, the particular items that these individuals are listening to can be eliminated. The FBI already flags every book bought from bookstores and taken out of libaries so I wouldn't be suprised if this was true as well.

Wow, that was a huge tangent. Anyways, I was listening to 105.1 on the FM dial and lo and behold, Big Tigger has taken Star and Bucwild's place on the morning show routine. First off, let me say that he's eh. But that's not the point of this blog. NO SIR. The point of this blog is something that Mr. Tigger informed me about during his very average morning radio show. STD cards. Yes. You heard right. STD cards.

Now, I know what you might be thinking. "Gregg, what in Jupiter's red spot is a STD card?" I'll tell you what it is. The end of actual courtship in the modern era as we know it.

WHAT?!?!

Yes, it's true.

As of now, all this is is something that you give to a potential mate. The potential mate calls this toll free number on the card and keys in some jibba jabba that's on the card into the phone and BLAOW!!!! It tells you how long ago you've been recently tested and if you've ever had a history of STDs and all that good stuff. In Illinois and in California, you merely have to obtain the email address of the potential, and you can send them an STD e-card (anonymously if you wish). Now, I know what you're thinking. How is this a bad thing?

I'll tell you this.

How isn't this a bad thing? What happened to actually being honest. OH YEAH!!! I forgot that the whole courting process nowadays revolves around lies and bullshit which is the reason why the divorce rate has more then quadrupled since the 1950's. What about abstinence? LOL J/K THAT ISNT REALLY REALISTIC NOWADAYS, IS IT?!?!

In all actuality, this might be a good thing.

However, my fears is that this might actually lead to the dreaded Number system. Many of my loyal readers might know what the Number system is or know it by a different name. It's basically assigning ourselves and people around us with numbers based on looks, economic standing, etc. Let's try an example. Donald Trump is possibly a 10. He's a good looking guy for an older man (PAUSE THAT NO HOMO) and extremely rich. So he can holla at dimes and nines. However, let's say he wasn't rich.......let's say he was working as a bank teller. He'd probably be a 6...mainly because he wouldn't have a hair stylist hiding his baldness and the Trump arrogance from a bank teller would probably be pretty annoying whereas it's amusing coming from a real estate mogul. He'd only be able to date anyone in the range of 5 to 7. I'm afraid that soon, the government might do this soon to seperate the haves from the have nots.....the good looking from the average from the hideous, etc. We're slowly inching toward a World where the government gives us cards with numbers on it saying we can only date and marry people within a certain range of our number.

Honestly, what's to stop them from doing this, all jokes aside? The government is already starting to take away basic rights that are guaranteed to us by the Declaration of Independence. Look at the country since 9/11. Sure you probably feel safer (though I doubt it). However, do you feel free? Shouldn't we be controlling the Government instead of the Government controlling us?

I know. I went on mad tangents. However, each one of those tangents had a purpose. A purpose swimming in the Atlantic Ocean with a school of other purposes trying to swim away from nasty big game ocean hunters who want to process their carcasses for household products THAT WE REALLY DONT NEED. Just remember the purpose.

Episode 6: It's Not Easy Being Brown

2007-01-26T11:43:00.002-08:00

If you have read the other blogs written by the Philaflava collective, then mine will look familiar to you. This episode has been directly influenced by Cashmere's 10 things I enjoy about being Black. However, I'm going to flip the script. This is basically 10 things I dislike about being Brown. I don't hate being Brown. Hate is an extremely strong word. I love myself and the color of my skin. I also love my people and my culture. However, there are some things that brown people do or how people react to brown people that get on my nerves. So, let's go through them, shall we?

10 Things I Dislike about being Brown (In no particular order)

10. Diabetes

Most brown adults I have met over 40 are diabetic. Many Brown people under the age of 40 are also diabetic. This is troubling. Recently looking up statistics on the internet, I found a troubling stat. 1/4th of the world population that has diabetes are of Indian descent. When you take into account that doesn't even include Arabs, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, and other various brown cultures, that is pretty insane. My father has diabetes. My brother, who is 7 years my junior, has diabetes. Luckily, I don't. But I'm defenitely biding my time. Luckily, I try to ration my candy and other high carb meals and I exercise frequently but I know my time will come. Who would've thought that White people, Homeland security, or malnutriton would be the #1 cause for Brown morbidity in the world but it is Diabetes complications?

9. Gandhi

Now don't get me wrong. Mahatma Gandhi is a great fucking man and was influential throughout the world in obtaining equality for all races and people. But let's face the facts, brown people. It's like 5 steps forward and 1 step backward with this guy. Every brown person in the world in some way, shape, or form is asked about Gandhi. 20% of the people I've met have asked me if I think Gandhi is a great man at one point in their relationship with me and it's usually white people that are the culprits. WTF. Why is that the case? Is it because white people don't consider Gandhi a great man? Why even bother asking that? And let's not forget the genius of using Gandhi as a racial slur against brown people. Gandhi was a world leader and one of the greatest humans in the history of the world! Calling me Gandhi is supposed to be offensive now?!?! I guess so. Going to junior high and high school in a town that is 75% Irish, I've heard it quite a bit. Trust me.

8. Bollywood

Now there have been some great brown films. But most films that come out of Bollywood is complete and utter trash. Most of them are musicals. Half of them are remakes of American films. And they all mostly follow the same fucking formula. Boy meets Girl. Girl is skeptical of Boy. Boy courts Girl. Girl starts to come around. There might be an antagonist that kidnaps Girl. Boy comes to Girls rescue (and somehow Boy learned Kung Fu or some Martial Arts form in his childhood cause if he didn't, he has a keen innate fighting ability) kicks the antagonist's ass. Boy and Girl live happily ever after. Alo, almost every Bollywood film I've seen has had a scene where the guy is chasing the girl through a grass field and they are both singing a song. ALMOST EVERY SINGLE BOLLYWOOD FILM. It almost never fails. One time I saw a Titanic remake. Boy is on a boat with the Girl. Out of nowhere, a song and dance sequence in a grass field comes into the picture. I immediately threw up. Weren't they just on a fucking boat?!?! I know Dhalsim could teleport in the Street Fighter 2 games but c'mon!

7. Someone asking if you worship Cows

This always happen. Whether the person is White, Black, or Asian, it never fails. You WILL be asked if you worship Cows in some form or another. One time I went to a restaurant with one of my boys. It was Applebees, actually. I ordered a steak. Tom stares at me with a pale look on his face like he's just seen a ghost. I asked him if he was alright. "Yo Bag, I didn't know you were allowed to eat beef. I thought you worshiped cows." I think it was the first time a Brown man ever turned red. Now I know what you are saying. It's physically impossible but I swear to god I must've cause as soon as he said that, dude started apologizing for his idiocy. If I worshipped cows, WOULD I FUCKING ORDER A STEAK?!?!? Second of all, HE KNEW I WAS MUSLIM. The saddest part of it all was that he wasn't joking at all. I'm sure Hindus go through the whole "do you eat Pork" routine as well.....but I could give a fuck about Hindus. They are like bizarro Muslims.

6. Other people's reaction to our Food

"OMG YOUR FOOD IS SO SPICY, HOW DO YOU EAT THIS STUFF?" Easy. Just follow these three easy steps. First, you grow a set of balls. Then, you acquire thick skin from hundreds of years of racial intolerance. Last but not least, you cook two different sets of food. One for yourself and the other that is extra spicy for the other people joining you. JUST KIDDING, THE LAST ONE WAS A JOKE!!! Or was it? Anyways, brown people eat this stuff all the time. Naturally, we are used to the spiciness. Using common sense helps sometimes, people. All Homo Sapiens come equipped with this ability. At least, I thought we did.

5. Physical limitations

95% of Brown people are short and unathletic. FACT. When is the last time you've seen a Brown athlete on TV? Think long and hard. Can't do it, can you? The only time I have seen or heard of a Brown athlete is when I'm watching Ivy League sports. Get it? LOL. In all seriousness, the only sports where I've seen a big time Brown athlete is in soccer, cricket, squash, and tennis. Not really big time sports in this part of the world. This stereotype kills me. Everytime I walk on to a basketball court I've never been to before, I'm guaranteed to be one of the last picks. It's all good though. It makes it all the better when I drop the hammer on em.

4. When I'm driving down the street, a pedestrian will try to wave me over.....

No, I'm not picking your ignorant ass up. Not all Brown people are taxi drivers, asshole. Next person trying to flag me down will get run over and become a permanent fixture on the street.

3. We're late to everything

Brown people work on different time schedules then everyone else. Whenever I go to work, I'm 5-10 minutes late. If you're trying to get a whole bunch of Brown people together for a social gathering, you're guaranteed they'll be late anywhere from a half an hour to an hour. So if I want to meet up with some friends at 9, I'll tell my Brown friends to meet me at 8:30. And they'll still be late. Also, if you go to any functions or shows run by Brown people, be prepared to be in for a long night. They always start late and end late.

2. The way we dance

I've seen the way Brown people dance at functions, weddings, shows, concerts, etc. It's horrid. I'll give us credit though. We love to dance, no matter how foolish we look.

1. All Brown people are considered terrorists

Let's face it. If anything happens in the US, people will point their fingers at brown people. Someone bombed a historical landmark? Brown people. Stock Market crashed? Brown people. Michael Jackson molested another little kid? Brown people and they probably ruined his music career too. We're to blame for every little thing that happens in this world. During finals week at school, I never shave. So I had shaggy hair and a full fledged beard. You couldn't believe the amount of stares I'd get on the subway. I probably evoked some gasps as well. What? A Brown man can't rock a beard without being labeled a terrorist nowadays? That's fucked up. Every brown man should have a right to rock a beard. This is ridiculous. Oh yeah, let's not forget that my phone is tapped by Homeland Security. Everytime I'm talking to someone on the phone, I hear random clicks during the call. I swear, I'm not paranoid. I really do hear clicks. They are coming after me and I'm innocent, I say. Innocent. Oh yeah, let's not forget the airport. There'll be 3-4 white people who walk into the terminal unchecked.....but when if I walk through the Metal detectors at the terminal, all the alarms would ring and all the guards would say "GET ON THE FLOOR, HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM". "Sir, It's probably my belt buckle or my PSP". "HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!!!!" Ummmmmmm, ok. Meanwhile, the white people who passed in front of me could've been potential terrorists too. Don't people remember Timothy McVeigh or the Unabomber? Don't forget the shoe bomber. Oh, they were probably really pale Brown people. It all makes sense now.

Episode 5: Hey, Babe. What's happening?

2007-01-26T11:43:00.001-08:00

During the past month, I've subjected myself to pay attention to the Bonds hype and his Ruthian chase. Yep, you heard right. I've been brainwashed by ESPN. As much as I hate it, I have to face the facts. It's history in the making. Any San Fran games that'll be on TV, I will try to watch. However, the thing that sickens me about this whole situation are the Bonds sympathizers. They are saying that Bonds is facing what is probably the Curse of the Babe. No, this has nothing to do with the Red Sox. Unfortunately, that curse is broken and a new curse has started where Red Sox fans and Bostonians are more annoying then ever and I'm forced to hear things like "OH THATS MANNY BEING MANNY" or "DAVID OHTIZ IS THE BEST HITTER EVER". No, this is another curse. Anyone who chases Ruth's HR records or milestones face hell for doing so. And if you look back into history, it's pretty on point. The two biggest victims of this "curse" have been Roger Maris and Hank Aaron.

In 1961, The Yankees lineup was nicknamed "Murderer's Row". And with good reason, the lineup was filled with feared hitters like Yogi Berra, Bill Skowron, and Elston Howard. But the two most talked about hitters were batting 3rd and 4th in the lineup that year. Mickey Mantle and the reigning MVP, Roger Maris. By midseason, it was apparent both Mantle and Maris had a shot at Ruth's single season record of 60 HRs. However, there were many baseball traditionalists (also known as Babe Ruth's dickriders) that didn't want to see the record broken by two hicks. "RUTH WAS A LEGEND", they'd say. Many of these traditionalists were just hardcore fans. Also, some of these traditionalists were members and writers of the media. Most of them felt that if the record was to be broken at all, it should be by Mantle, who was considered New York's golden boy. Even though Maris was the reigning MVP, he was the most sleighted superstar of his era. Playing in the shadow of an all time great in the Babe and a Golden Boy in Mantle. He would be cat called and booed by his very own fans in New York during games and he even received death threats. Maris didn't feel safe anywhere. To add insult to injury, the baseball commissioner at the time, Ford Frick, declared that if Ruth's record WAS broken that year, it would have an asterisk. Why? Simply because Ruth set his record in 154 games while Maris and Mantle had the advantage of a 162 game season. Mantle was taken out of the picture in September of that season because of an infection and Maris eventually hit 61 during the last game of the year. Maris went to his grave bitter at all of baseball and rightfully so. He was labeled Public Enemy #1 merely because he was a great player.

That was nothing compared to what Henry Aaron had to go through. Henry Aaron was one of the more underrated players of his era during his prime but his visibility came to an all time high during his chase for Ruth. As you might've guessed, the Ruthian dickriders came out of the woodwork. "He wasn't as good of a hitter as Ruth!" "Ruth spent his first few years as a pitcher. He didn't have as many at bats!" Aaron also received death threats, much like Maris did. However, most of Aaron's letters were racially driven. During the 1973 and '74 seasons, Aaron received about three thousand letters a day. Many of them were much like this one:

"Dear Nigger Henry,
You are (not) going to break this record established by the great Babe Ruth if I can help it. ... Whites are far more superior than jungle bunnies. . My gun is watching your every black move."

and

"Dear Henry Aaron,
How about some sickle cell anemia, Hank?"

The great thing about Hammerin Hank was that he kept every single letter (and he still has them even to this day) and used them as motivation. During the spring of '74, Aaron broke Ruth's record and became a legend. He also became a hero.

Bonds apologists want to paint him the same way. A Hero. Bullshit. All the hate that Bonds receives now is because of his own doing. Barry Bonds has treated fans and media (even though they deserve it) with contempt and disrespect his whole career. If he receives hate because of that, then so be it. He deserves every iota of that hate then. On top of that, there's also this BALCO situation hanging over his head. Alot of what Bonds is doing now and has done for the past 7 years is suspect. Mainly because of his dealings with his trainer, Anderson and Victor Conte, the CEO of BALCO. It has been well documented that Bonds abused steroid during this time. Bonds apologists will say "WELL STEROIDS WEREN'T AGAINST THE RULES AT THE TIME". Well, they WERE against the law. Otherwise, why would there be a federal investigation on BALCO? If it wasn't cheating, why doesn't Bonds come right out and say he used steroids if he didn't do anything wrong? Most of us know that cheating is wrong. However with what they are saying, Bonds' apologists are trying to imply that using steroids, during that time period, was perfectly fine. If it looks like shit and it smells like shit, trust me, it is pretty much shit.

Barry isn't suffering from any curse that Babe Ruth's alcohol saturated corpse could conjure from the grave. Barry Bonds is suffering from himself. And if he or any of his apologists wants to compare himself to Maris or, even worse, Aaron, he should take one look in the mirror and question if he really went through what those two have went through. If what they did was because of their own doing?

So in closing.....Barry Bonds is a bitch.

NFL Draft Review (Episode 4: The Saints come marching in)

2007-01-26T11:42:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was probably a big weekend for alot of hardcore football fanatics. The NFL Draft, baby. If you didn't know, you were obviously not watching ESPN at all last week. Jesus, they ODed on the NFL draft coverage last week and shoved it down everyone's throats. Anyways, here are my draft winners and losers for the weekend.

New York Giants
Status: Loser

Maybe I'm being too harsh on them. But WTF were they doing? These guys drafted a defensive end in the first round when he we have to pro bowl DEs and another promising DE on the bench. Thing is, I called it right before the pick happened. When I was at my boy Tom's crib this weekend for this NFL draft party he was holding, he asked me who I thought the Giants were drafting. My answer was jokingly "Probably some guy named babinshawika cause EA loves drafting players with foreign sounding names." Boom, they pick Mathias Kiwanuka. I'm convinced Ernie Accorsi's toupee is slowly seeping into his brain. They made up for it by trading up and picking Sinorice Moss in the second round. I can see Moss exploding as the slot receiver in the Giant offense. After that, the draft was blah. One thing that upsets me is that we could've had a player I really liked in Oshinowo but instead drafted a DT named Barry Cofield. Oh yeah, they draft an offensive tackle named Guy Whimper. Best name in the draft. Also the gayest. Accorsi loves these names, i'm telling you. Of course they didn't draft Oshinowo because Accorsi filled up his quota for foreign names. Asshole.

New York Jets
Status: Winner

My boy Tom hates it when offensive lineman are picked in the first round. In fact, he exploded and almost started to break down when D'brick was the first round pick. I thought he was going to spontaneously combust. However, this is the right pick here. The Jets gave up a boatload of sacks. Which is why I think they also drafted Mangold, the center from Ohio State. I like the Clemens pick even though he was picked ahead of Croyle, Whitehurst, and Jacobs. Me and Tom convinced one of our friends that Clemens was one of Roger Clemens' son. Dude is a hardcore Yankee fan and took this as a sign that the Jets and Yankees were working together on bringing Clemens back to New York. Good times. I also liked their picks of Anthony Schlegel, MLB from OSU, and Leon Washington, RB from FSU.

Arizona Cardinals
Status: Big time winner

The cardinals first four picks were all top notch. Leinart will be a Pro Bowl QB there for years with all those weapons. I bet you he's ecstatic. Not only does he get to hand off to Edge and throw to Boldin and Fitzgerald.....but the hot chick ratio in Arizona is almost as good as the holy trinity of hot chick habitats: Miami, NYC, California. They addressed their O-line problems with Taitusi, drafted a TE who I felt had a late first round/early second round grade in Leonard Pope, and drafted a DT who I felt had a early second round grade in Gabe Watson. Dennis Green is doing cartwheels in Arizona.

Atlanta Falcons
Status: Winner

LUCKY SON OF A BITCHES. They got a first round talent in the middle of the second round in Jimmy Williams. They'll have a tough secondary for years with Jimmy Will and Dangelo Hall roaming the defensive backfield. I'm also a big fan of their pick of Jerius Norwood, the RB from Miss St. He's a blazer.

Buffalo Bills
Status: Loser

Everyone at the Draft party was laughing at the Bills pick of Donte Whitner at 8. Well, everyone but my friend Eddy....who happens to be a Bills fan. They also reached for DT John McCargo when they traded up to 26th in the first round to get. I like McCargo though. Think he's a solid player. Has a funny last name though. If McDonalds were to have their own Airline, it'd be called McCargo. Imagine going on an airplane and instead of getting garbage airline food, you got McDonalds, Wendys, or BK? I'd love that airline. And considering how unhealthy and obese America is on the whole, it would be a huge sucess. How come no one has thought of this already? I brought this up at the draft party and my boy Tom said "Trust me, they wouldn't allow you within a 200 feet radius of that plane either, Bag." Fuck you, Tom. Fuck you. Btw, don't worry, Eddy. At least you'll have a good shot at Brady Quinn next year.

Chicago Bears
Status: Loser

The Bears need help on offense. So with Sinorice Moss and Leonard Pope on the board, two players that could've really helped the Bears offense, they picked Daneal Manning.....a cornerback. WHAT?!?!?!? They also reached for Devin Hester in the second round to return kicks. Why? He won't even break into their dime package. Dusty Dvoracek is an aight pick but he's pretty unathletic for a DT.

Cincinatti Bengals
Status: Loser

They made a good pick in Jonathan joseph in the first round. Joseph could be a very good CB for years. However, the picks afterwards are nothing to write home about. Except for maybe their 5th round pick of LB AJ Nicholson. Not much of an athlete but the guy can play. Btw, these guys drafted a DE named Frostee Rucker. Sounds like someone you'd find in one of the Friday movies.

Denver Broncos
Status: Loser

They traded up to get Jay Cutler. I don't know. Correct me if I'm wrong but Jay Cutler kind of reminds me of someone they have on their roster. YES, HE REMINDS ME OF JAKE THE SNAKE. Why would you want to trade up to get basically the same player you have on your roster. I swear Shanahan confounds me sometimes. They also traded a second round pick for WR Javon Walker. Now Javon Walker can be really good but you also have to understand that this guy is coming of ACL surgery. Ouch.

Detroit Lions
Status: Winner

They are winners just for the mere fact that Millen didn't pick a WR in the first round. Congrats, dumbass. However they had a pretty solid draft. Picking Ernie Sims in the first round gives them a nice young LB core in Sims, Boss Bailey, and Lehman. Thing is, they all gotta stay healthy. They also picked a few players I like in S Daniel Bullocks, RB Brian Calhoun, and OT Jonathan Scott.

Green Bay
Status: Winner

They got who I think is the best defensive player in this draft in LB A.J. Hawk. The white people in Green Bay are going to love him. That's not as racist as it sounds on my part, is it? They also drafted an O-lineman that I loved in Daryn colledge. Also, they are going to try to replace Javon Walker with two WRs that I feel have a boatload of potential in Greg Jennings and Wil Blackmon. They also got another solid LB out of this draft in Abdul Hodge. Not bad, if you ask me.

Houston Texans
Status: Average

They would've been winners if they had the second pick overall in the draft. Instead, they had the first pick and picked Mario Williams over Reggie Bush. WHAT?!?!?!? They passed up on drafting Jesus in cleats. Ridiculous. However they had a very solid draft. Demeco Ryans in the second and they tried to address their O-line problems in the third with Eric Winston and Charles Spencer. I like Winston alot.

Kansas City Chiefs
Status: Loser

When they picked Tamba Hali in the first round, my friend Tom broke out laughing. "I can't believe Herman Edwards is going to ruin the Chiefs through the draft too. Chief fans will feel the pain I felt the past few years." Chief fans, your only hope is in the present.

New Orleans Saints
Status: Winner

Bush dropping to them automatically makes them winners. They had a solid draft though beyond that. When Reggie holds out of training camp for money, fans will have a been there, done that type of attitude. Why? He'll be the second Bush not to show up on time in New Orleans. I'll be here all day, folks.

Philedelphia Eagles
Status: Winner

They had a scary good draft. They needed another DT to put next to Patterson and Brodrick Bunkley is as good as it gets. They addressed the Offensive line with Winston Justice and Gilles. They also addressed the WR spot with nice late round picks in Jason Avant and Jeremy Bloom. I hate them.

San Francisco 49ers
Status: Winner

They got Alex Smith a legit weapon in Vernon Davis. KLACK KLACK. They draft a player that can help them on the defensive end. KLACK KLACK. They draft a WR that they hope can replace Brandon Lloyd in Bradon Williams. If you've seen Vernon Davis in that Under Armour commercial, you know what I'm talking about. His biceps are bigger then my head. When he says KLACK KLACK, it's the scariest thing I've ever seen. However, 2 seconds earlier in the same commercial, you see Jay Cutler doing some running drill saying KLACK KLACK. Funniest thing I saw all day. Honestly, Jay Cutler wearing Under Armour isn't going to inspire or motivate anyone to work out and to buy their products. In fact, Cutler looked like an elementary school student compared to other athletes in that commercial. LOL. That commercial covered a broad spectrum of emotions.

Tennessee Titans
Status: Winner

Vince Young might take a minute to develop but I'm positive he'll develop. Lendale White in the second round? A steal in my opinion. But where they really won was in the middle part of the draft where they selected LBs Tulloch and Nande. Especially Nande. The man is a beast.

Washington Redskins
Status: Loser

WTF. No First round picks and they move up in the second round to pick Rocky McIntosh? LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Snyder, you suck. I'm almost positive he wanted two rockys on that team. Rock Cartwright is still on the Redskins, right? They need to have a Contender special with these two guys fighting it out.

Most Valuable Blogger (Episode 3: It's been a long time since I left you.....without another dope blog to step to)

2007-01-26T11:41:00.000-08:00

Welcome to another episode of "The Blog to Save All of Mankind". It's been a little over a week since my last blog and I apologize. It's been a strange week. With Good Friday, Easter, and Passover in the same week, white people have been trying to dominate the foregront of internet blogging but have no fear.....I've come to the rescue.

In today's episode, I will discuss and disect the NBA MVP race. I will basically show what my ballot would look like from 10 to 1 (who I feel the MVP should be) and also list the pros and cons of each player. The pool of candidates this year is larger then it has been in years' past. Mainly because this year's basketball season has been far more exciting and entertaining then it has been during the previous two years. The last couple years, I've been dreading the basketball season. Partially because the Knicks are an abomination to all of organized sports but also because the sport as a whole has been, well, boring. I would dread the end of the NFL season and anticipate with open arms, the beginning of the baseball season. This has been a strange occurance to me because.....well.....basketball is my favorite sport. However, let's face the facts, nothing about the sport recently has really jumped out at you. The main things I remember from the past few years is Shaq being unceremoniously dumped by Kobe and the Lakers, Lebron James, and Michael Jordan's second retirement being a failure. Somewhere David Stern is shaking his fist, screaming curses at me because I've dissed his precious sport. But it's OUR precious sport and it has sucked. Well, it did until this year. What is it about this year that made this season stand out? Was it the New York Knicks? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH, no and let's not bring them up for the rest of the blog. The mere mention of MSG's most ridiculed tenant could corrode the very existence of our being. Hey, if we look in front of a mirror and say Isiah Thomas' name three times at midnight, maybe he'll show up and with a ten year contract in his hand at 10 million per? Knowing what you know, would you sign that? Be careful what you wish for, if you do sign it, you might end up in the hospital with an upset stomach like Larry Brown. Let's face it, being part of the New York Knicks in any shape or form (player, coach, management, fan wearing brown paper bag over head, etc.) speeds up the aging process. So I either have a bad case of alzheimers or I already deleted the whole Knicks season from my memory banks.

So what has made watching basketball fun again? Maybe it's the fact that a few young athletes are finally realizing their superstar potential and leading their teams to the post season? Maybe it's scoring being up all around the league? Maybe it's watching the Detroit Pistons disect every team in the NBA like surgeons? Maybe it's because of a rookie that gives faith to alot of old school fans about the future of the NBA point guard? Maybe it's watching a couple of all star swingmen ressurect their careers? Maybe it's the LA Clippers ressurecting their whole freaking franchise? Maybe it's all of these things and more. Enough of this poppycock though. Let's talk MVP.

10. Carmelo Anthony

Statline- 26.7 ppg, 5.0 rpg, 2.7 apg, 1.1 spg, 48.1 FG%, 80.7 FT%

Pros- One of the toughest people to stop one on one in the NBA period. Blend of size, quickness, and mid range jumpshot makes him a nightmare to defend. After a sub-par season last year where everyone doubted him (especially after the Olympics debacle), completely ressurected his career to become a superstar. Has made as many clutch regular season shots this year as anyone. The guy has been unreal at the end of games this year. All he has to do is prove he can do it in the playoffs.

Cons- Other then score, what does he really do well? Also even though the Nuggets will win their division, they are like the 6th best team in the West. Do you really think the Nuggets are better then the Mavericks, Clippers, or Grizzlies? Oh yeah, he's engaged to LaLa. Sooner or later, that will defenitely catch up to him. Imagine waking up to that every morning? He'll have a permanent ringing in his ears by the age of 28.

9. Jason Kidd

Statline- 13.4 ppg, 8.5 apg, 7.4 rpg, 1.9 spg, 40.5 FG%, 79.5 FT%

Pros- The man is a walking triple double. Even after knee surgery last year, the man is playing at a very high level. He also has basically ressurected the career of Vince Carter who, before Jason Kidd, was probably the second biggest recluse in the league. After a timeout where his coach designed the final play of the game, Vince told members of the opposing team who the ball was going to. WTF!?!? On top of that, He played mediocre basketball. Inexcusable. But in New Jersey, dude is a model citizen and a top 20 ball player. Helped transition Richard Jefferson into almost an all star year after he missed almost all of last season because of injury. He led the Nets to a 14 game winning streak and an Atlantic division title all without much of an interior presence on both sides of the court (even though Nenad Kristic has been coming on during that streak).

Cons- The man has clearly lost a step. You wonder when he's going to break down. How much of Vince Carter's ressurection is Jason kidd.....and how much of it is Vince finally getting his wish and getting out of Toronto? Helped produce TJ Kidd.....who's head is larger then the eastern seaboard of the United States. The child looks like a living bobblehead doll. Even Joumanna Kidd is horrified.

8. Elton Brand

Statline- 24.8 ppg, 10.0 rpg, 2.7 apg, 2.6 bpg, 52.7 FG%, 77.0 FT%

Pros- The only true post player on this list. The man is a load inside. Has helped carry the LA Clippers to a postseason berth. Yes, you read that correctly. When was the last time you've heard the LA Clippers and playoffs in the same sentence? Well, pretty much every year at the half way point of the season when Sportscenter anchors are required to tell people that the Clips are mathematically eliminated from achieving a playoff berth. However, this year has been different. Unbelieveable. Even though he went to Duke, he hates the people at Duke as much as I do.

Cons- However, he still went to Duke and that cannot be forgiven. The Clippers have not been as good since the all star break and not suprisingly that has coincided with a slight dip in production from Sir Elton Brand. Did I mention that he went to Duke? Also, has he even surpassed Johnny Dawkins as the best player in the NBA from Duke ever? Of course he has. I'm just using saying that as a reason for saying that "boy, doesn't Johnny Dawkins look an awful lot like Swizz Beats?" The resemblance is uncanny. Also, Coach K reminds me of Master Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie but that's a whole other blog altogether.

7. Chris Paul

Statline- 16.5 ppg, 7.9 apg, 5.3 rpg, 2.3 spg, 43.2 FG%, 84.5 FT%

Pros- Smallest player on this list is also one of the few true PGs still left in the NBA. AND HES STILL A ROOKIE!!! The man is single handedly carrying the New Orleans Hornets and their roster of also rans in competing for a postseason berth. Seriously, can someone name 4 players on the New Orleans Hornets in 10 seconds without the help of the internet? Didn't think so.

Cons- His team is not making the playoffs. That automatically takes him out of the running for MVP. But he still deserves consideration for his efforts. Rookies have rarely ever won MVP. The last rookie to win was Wes Unseld. His full name consists of two first names. That's gotta work against him somehow. I mean, look at what happened to Allan Ray. A piece of advice to people about to have kids. If your last name can also pass for a first name, the child's first name has to look like someone's last name. Also, one of my boys calls him CP3. One of the worst nicknames i've ever heard.

6. Chauncey Billups

Statline- 18.8 ppg, 8.7 apg, 3.1 rpg, .419 FG%, .903 FT%, .437 3pt%

Pros- Is the lead surgeon on the Detroit Pistons surgical squad. The engine of the machine that has totally dissected almost every team in the NBA this year. You can argue he's the best clutch player on this list. In the past 3 years, he's probably hit as many big shots as Kobe.

Cons- The Pistons aren't winning because of him. They are winning because of the group as a whole. They are defenitely a team that wins because of the sum of the parts. He's also not that great of a defensive player. People are fooled because the Pistons are arguably the best defensive team in the NBA but it's because of the frontcourt. Prince and the Wallace brothers erase hella mistakes. I can't believe I said hella. Now you know I'm starting to run out of gas.

5. Dwyane Wade

Statline- 27.5 ppg, 5.8 rpg, 6.8 apg, 1.95 spg, .498 FG%, .782 FT%

Pros- Last year, Wade was Shaq's sidekick. Those days are over. This is Wade's team and Shaq is just playing in it. On the offensive end, Wade is the catalyst for the Miami Heat. The man is an athletic phenomenon. At 6'4, Wade gets up in the air like no one's buisness. What impresses me the most is his 50% clip from the field. At the rate he's scoring at, he shows you that his shot selection is top notch.

Cons- Miami should be better then what they are. Look at all the pieces on this Miami Heat team and tell me they shouldn't be a 60 win team. Now is that Wade's fault? Could it be the mid season coaching change or the fact that all the new pieces didn't mesh well together? Who knows? But I'm pretty much holding that against him. Also the Heat are 4-5 in April. Would an MVP allow that to happen....especially with the #1 seed in the conference not too far from their grasp? I have a hard time believing that. Last but not least, the guy is reveling in the fact that he's a model for Sean John. Sean fucking John. During the All star Saturday Night, dude was blowing kisses at the camera. No way am I letting this pretty boy fag get a pass on that. But hey, at least he's not referring to himself in the third person and telling reporters that Starbury is coming back. But still.

4. Dirk Nowitzki

Statline- 26.6 ppg, 9.0 rpg, 2.8 apg, 1.04 bpg, .482 FG%, .899 FT%, .409 3pt%

Pros- The second biggest nightmare of a one on one matchup in the NBA. Second only to Kobe. If you are a 4 or 5 in the NBA, you want no piece of this man. He can take you off the dribble, shoot over you from mid range or long range, and can even post you up now. SCARY. His clutch shooting in March and April was awe inspiring. He must've had 3 or 4 game winners in the past month and a half alone. He simply knows when to take over offensively during a game.

Cons- He's pretty bad defensively. He's improved the past couple years but still maybe average. In the western conference, average defense is not cutting it against the all star power forwards in that conference. If I take Dirk off the Mavericks, is the team really that bad? I can still see the Mavs fighting for a playoff spot. They are a pretty talented team. This is the place where I'd have a joke con but all the good german and Dirk jokes have been used. If you are going to blame me for not trying, FUCK YOU. Yeah, I'm really running out of gas. Now I know what you're going to say. "OH HOW IRONIC, A MUSLIM RUNNING OUT OF GAS". Don't test me if you don't want regular gas at 5 dollars a gallon. All I need to do is make one phone call.

3. Kobe Bryant

Statline- 35.3 ppg, 5.3 rpg, 4.5 apg, 1.81 spg, .450 FG%, .848 FT%

Pros- How do you guard this guy? The biggest scoring threat in the NBA. People throw around the term "single handedly carrying his team" around too often in these type of things. This guy really is doing it. Most of the players around him blow serious chunks. Seriously, this guy is sharing a backcourt with a guy named Smush. Kobe and Smush. You can't make this kind of stuff up. You take him off the Lakers, they are defenitely not making the playoffs. They'd be making a run at guys named Lamarcus or Adam in the draft lottery. He's also a well known fan of white ass. Can't say I blame the brother.

Cons- Two words. Lamar Odom. This guy used to be an annual all star. He played on an Olympic team. Rephrase that. He STARTED on an Olympic team. Granted, it was an Olympic team coached by Larry Brown but still, it was an Olympic team. Lamar Odom is a very good basketball player that has been almost non-existant for the Lakers. I seriously think Kobe's the reason for this. Also, do you think an MVP would send the best center in the NBA packing because he wanted his own team? I know it was two years ago but c'mon. Finally, he has Hugh Grant Syndrome. The syndrome I will be chronicling in the next few sentences is named after Hugh Grant because his was the first reported case and the most terrible affliction. Now, I don't blame Kobe for being fascinated with caucasian ass. I blame Kobe for tapping inferior ass to what he already had. C'mon guys, anyone who's seen the heaven that is Kobe's dime piece wife understands what the fuck I'm talking about. I think Max Weinberg summed it up best when he was talking to Conan O'brien about Jude Law's infidelity with his children's babysitter when he was with Sienna Miller. "This is America. And in America, you cheat up....not down." Truer words have never been spoken.

2. Lebron James

Statline- 31.6 ppg, 7.1 rpg, 6.6 apg, 1.6 spg, .480 FG%, .739 FT%

Pros- The greatest individual talent in the NBA in my opinion. He not only lived up to the hype, but he could surpass it if he plays to his potential. His statline is mind boggling. Is in the top 3 when you talk about players with complete, all around games. He is leading the Cavaliers to their first playoff berth in 7 years.

Cons- Maybe it's just me, but I don't think he's playing better then he was last year. Don't get me wrong, he's a better player then he was last year but is he playing better? Last year, it seemed he was much more mindful of getting his teammates involved. This year, he looks like he is looking to get his alot more. 5 main players in the Cavs rotation's (Larry Hughes, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Drew Gooden, Damon Jones, and Donyell Marshall) scoring averages have dipped from last year. Now you kinda expect that when they are playing with someone averaging close to 32 ppg. Thing is, should he be averaging 32 ppg? I'd be far more impressed if he averaged 28 points and 8 assists instead of 32 points and 6 and a half dimes. Personally, I think his team would've been better off. After seeing him play his first year (heck, after seeing a couple games of his on TV when he was in high school), I was convinced I'd be watching a better version of Magic Johnson in 5 years. People were talking about whether he'd be the second person to average a triple double in a season. However, it seems he wants to take the Michael Jordan route like Kobe did. Maybe I'm nitpicking a great player but it is something to think about.

1. Steve Nash

Statline- 19.0 ppg, 10.5 apg, 4.2 apg, .510 FG%, .924 FT%, .427 3pt%

Pro- My pick for MVP. The defending MVP, if you can believe it, is having a better year then he had last year. 6 players from the Phoenix Suns (including himself) are averaging career highs in points per game. They won the Pacific division without one of the best players on the team (Amare Stoudemire). He is schooling alot of PGs in the NBA even though he is the biggest hippie in the NBA unless Christian Laetner is still playing. If he is still playing, then I retract that statement.

Cons- He's still not a very good defender. Other team's PGs eat him up usually. However, that's the only real flaw to his game. Sure he's a bad defender but he is the main reason the players around him are playing at an extremely high level. Personally, I think that overshadows what he isn't doing.....which is not playing defense.

I MIGHT GO TO HELL BUT I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU (Episode II: POPA'S PLAN FOR PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST)

2007-01-26T11:31:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the BLOG TO SAVE ALL MANKIND. Yesterday's blog was sports related but today......I'm going to try something a little different. I'm going to let the reader delve a little bit into the Popa psyche and understand the inner workings of me, Hasib, the writer of this blog.

So yes. I want to let you guys in on a little secret.

I'm smitten with Natalie Portman.

WHAT?!?!?!

Yes, you heard right. No, i do not merely like her like we used to be like in high school where we'd be saying stuff to our buddies like "Oh geez Gregg, I like her but she hangs out with the cool kids. How do i approach her". I am in love with Natalie Portman. Which is basically the same situation as being in high school because she hangs out with the cool kids and I do not have the foggiest idea on how to approach her. So I really don't know what the difference is. Anyways even if I did approach her, she'd probably be like "WTF" and then beat me up and file a restraining order.

So what's the problem you say? If that is what you are wondering, then you must clearly not know me that well. The quagmire here, folks, is that she.....the love of my life.....the apple of my eye.....the object of my desire......she is a Jew. Not only that, she is from Israel. Now those that are reading this might be saying to themselves "So what?" Well, I relish in the fact that I'm a semi militant Muslim man. Not to mention, she is white and I am full fledged 100 % all brown meat. So now you can see the quandry that I am in.

I know some of you, most of y'all being my greatest fans, are thinking "Shit, how did this happen? How did my hero succumb to weakness?" Slow down, wodie. No one is perfect, not even one of the greatest brown thinkers on the face of Allah's green earth. So let me give you guys the backstory. It started a couple of weeks ago when the "V for Vendetta" hype machine was in full swing. I saw this stunning vision of beauty before me on Dave Letterman and I was taken aback with how she carried herself. Holy guacamole, here is a woman that is easygoing, intelligent, funloving. These are 3 characters I look mainly for in a woman. And for someone claiming to be an actress, she acted nothing like the stereotype. She was extremely down to earth and no hint of diva-ness whatsoever. Now, I've seen Natalie Portman in other movies before. I've seen classics like The Proffessional (2 Thumbs Up), Closer (1 Thumb up), the Star Wars prequels (Two thumbs up my ass, no homo). But i've never seen her being herself. This is probably why my life took a turn for the worst. The next day I saw Natalie on TRL (Yes, as you have noticed, I am already on a first name basis with her even though I haven't even met her yet). Now I know what you are thinking....."WTF ARE YOU WATCHING TRL FOR?" Guys Guys, relax. I was channel surfing when I caught a glimpse of my future wife. And don't worry, I had my finger on the mute button just in case LaLa was around (Ever read the Odyssey? LaLa's voice is like the sirens on that island that lure sailors to their deaths. Instead LaLa's voice leads sane human beings to jump off buildings. True story). Anyways, she carried herself in the same demeanor even though some faggot named Damien was swooning over her. After watching V for Vendetta for myself, I was convinced. She would be mine, OH YES, she would be mine.

Now, I haven't found out how I'm going to make this happen yet. I'm currently trying to devise a plot on how I'll try to meet her. and until then, this is merely a dream.

But my friends! THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES IF ME AND NATALIE WERE TO FORGE A BOND! Not only would me and Natalie be Hollywood's new power couple, with her being a world famous actress and me being a great brown philosopher/revolutionary, but we'd also work hard for peace amongst Muslims and Jews. Think about it, brothers and sisters. If me and Natalie could see past our differences and be together, why wouldn't Israel and the other Muslim countries take heed? Seeing this, there is nothing else they could do but just resolve their differences. AK-47's would be put down. Children wouldn't be raised as human bombs. The Israeli political party Likud would have to change it's stance on Palestine. Muslims and Jews would be humping each other at a rabbit rate. See? Us being together would have a far reaching affect on the whole Middle Eastern community!!!! Ultimately, this relationship isn't just about longing, lust, and desire. This relationship is the major cog in Popa's plan for Peace in the Middle East! Unfortunately, there are people that wouldn't want to see this take this place. The members of Likud, of course, because they think the only good muslim is a dead muslim (If you've ever seen the movie "Munich", my life would consist of me running from Eric Bana and Israeli assassins if this hypothetical union ever took place). George Bush would be against it because he stands to profit from selling weapons to Israel and also aiding them. And of course Dick Cheney because he's cyborg that is trying to complete his transformation into a total robot and in the process, trying to eradicate all life as we know it. So the American government would stop at no cost at preventing me and Natalie from being together.

We must make Natalie and my union happen, people, at all costs. I know she wants to be with me too. Whenever I see her on TV, I see the way she looks and smiles at me. The feeling is defenitely mutual. So join me in finding a way to get me and Natalie together and we'll find a way to achieve world peace and I finally won't be disgruntled. By any means necessary, Brothers and Sisters. By any means necessary.

The Popa Preview of the Major League Baseball Season (Episode 1: The Attack of the Clones)

2007-01-26T11:25:00.000-08:00

HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA

What's up and welcome to the premiere edition of the Brown Revolution, playfully known as THE BLOG FOR BAGHDAD. Many of you know me as Hasib, some of you know me as Greg Popabitch, alot of you know me as Bagdad. But trust me, we are all the same person. Don't be confused and get your mind right. By the way, big shout outs go out to Gloss and Reggie for giving a Muslim man a chance to display his thoughts to a high traffic medium.......even though they are Jews. That takes alot of courage and tells you alot about the highly liberal portion of the Jewish population. Mainly that they are confused and dont' have their priorities straight. But that's cool with me. Divide and conquer baby, divide and conquer. Anyways, if you frequent the sports bar at www.philaflava.com, you'll realize that some of his material is not new. DO NOT DESPAIR. This does not mean that I will be regurgitating future material in the future (lol i said future twice). The only recycled material that will be in the premiere edition of the blog will be the Major League Baseball preview. Let me just tell you right now, PETER GAMMONS AINT GOT SHIT ON ME.

NL EAST Predicted Finish:
1. New York Mets- low 90's to high 80's in wins.
2. Atlanta Braves- low 90's to high 80's in wins. (Wild Card)
3. Philly Phillies- mid 80's
4. Washington Nationals- high 70's.
5. Florida Marlins- high 50's.

Summary- this is an interesting as hell division. Both the Mets and Braves will be fighting to the bitter end for the NL East Crown. The reason why i'm going against reason is because the braves seem like they have a couple more holes then the mets imo. I don't wholly trust that lineup and their closer situation. they do have a solid starting staff though. The only problem i see with the mets is middle relief. their lineup is pretty jacked now. I like the phillies as a sleeper. I wouldn't be suprised at all if they won this division. They arguably have the best lineup in the NL. Their bullpen has to come through though in order for them to win the division though. They gotta rely on flash gordon? yikes. Nationals will be in it until july and then fall apart. they need to get frank a couple more hitters. Marlins could be one of the worst teams of all time. feel bad for miggy cabrera and willis.

NL Central:
1. St Louis Cards- Mid 90's.
2. Milwaukee Brewers- Mid 80's.
3. Houston Astros- Mid 80's.
4. Pittsburgh Pirates- Low 80's.
5. Chicago Cubs- Mid 70's.
6. Cincinatti- High 60's.

Summary- St Louis is the class of the whole league, let alone the division. Their place in the world series as NL's rep is pretty much assured to me. The most complete team in the NL. I think the Brewers and Pirates both suprise this year. The Brewers have a nice mix of vets and young talent. their young talent (weeks and fielder) have alot of potential. their pitching can be potentially amazing if sheets can stay healthy. I don't know what to think of the Astros. If Clemens comes back to them in June, you could pencil them in for a few more wins and a possible wild card team. If he doesn't, they could be in the mid to high 70's in wins. that lineup has alot of holes. Their pitching is good all around though. Especially oswalt who is one of the best pitchers in baseball. The Pirates look good to me. and it all starts with a pretty solid pitching staff, especially in the bullpen. their starting staff is lead by perez and duke who are both nice young lefty starters. Bay is one of the best players in the NL. Cubs are a sad organization right now. Their pitching can't stay healthy other then zambrano. they finally found a leadoff man in pierre, saddingly it's too little too late. derek lee's the man though. Cincinatti sucks.

NL West:
1. San Fran Giants- Mid 80's.
2. LA dodgers- low 80's.
3. San Diego Padres- Low 80's.
4. Arizona- Low 70s
5. colorado- Low 70's.

Summary-
worst division in baseball. If bonds is healthy and lawsuit/suspension free, giants will win the division. i love their young arms, no homo. Dodgers have the pitching and picked up a couple of solid hitters but their lineup is still kinda average. Padres have sick pitching but sucky hitting. Peavy could be the Cy young this year. Arizona and colorado suck. honestly. i don't even want to talk about them. i'll make pretend they don't even exist. seriously. only good thing about arizona and colorado are the resorts. lets leave it at that.

AL West-
1. Oakland- Low 90's.
2. Angels- high 80s.
3. Seattle- low 80's.
4. texas- high 70's.

Summary-
Oakland has the best pitching staff, up and down, in all of baseball. Billy Beane (even though i hate moneyballers) is a genius. the lineup is kinda questionable but the pitching all but makes up for it. The Angels are Vlad and that's it. Their lineup has holes. Can colon repeat last year's performance? Does the Angel bullpen have to carry the pitching staff again? some question marks surrounding this team. Texas always has the lineup but do they have the pitching this year? haha, that's not really a question. they never have pitching man. Seattle can suprise some teams. they have some solid hitters and king felix. If Ichiro regains MVP form, this team can cause havoc. Alot of things have to fall in place though.

AL Central-
1. Chicago White Sox- High to mid 90s.
2. Minnesota Twins- High 80's (Wild Card)
3. Cleveland Indians- High 80's.
4. Detroit Tigers- High 70's.
5. KC Royals- High 50's.

Summary-
Insane division. Insane. These guys are all going to beat each other up. except for the royals. they beat themselves up. White Sox are the most complete team in baseball. With the best starting rotation in baseball. but they have Javiar Vazquez. c'mon, you knew everything wouldn't be gravy. Lineup full of proffessional hitters. Ken Williams put together a helluva team. I know what you're thinking. The twins over the indians? you're crack, popa. nope. I think they have the pitching and enough hitting to be a wild card team. not to mention they have one of the best bullpens in baseball. You automaticallyl pencil them in for 20 wins because of Johan. The Indians lineup is Jacked. Sizemore, hafner, peralta, Victor Mart. but the pitching looks rather inconsistent. i see some good and some bad in that staff. i can never wholly trust CC sabathia. c'mon.....would you trust any pitcher named CC? and does it really suprise anyone that CC is as big as ceecee? is Sabathia actually ceecee in CC's body? the world will never know. the Tigers are just ok. pudge is getting old. he's not the same pudge. Bonderman could be the truth in a couple years. Marlins fans, i take it back. KC could be the worst team of all time. MARLINS FANS CAN REJOICE ABOUT SOMETHING!

AL East-
1. NY Yanks- Mid 90s
2. Toronto Blue Jays- High 80s.
3. Boston Red Sox- High 80s.
4. Tampa Bay Devil Rays- Mid 70's.
5. Baltimore Orioles- Low 70s.

Summary-
Tough division but the Yanks have the least holes. Best Lineup in baseball. A solid starting rotation. solid bullpen. Best closer in baseball. Hard to argue with that. Toronto over the Red sawks, are you crazy popa? i just might be. The Red sox have MAD question marks. especially in the pitching. schilling? foulke? Beckett's precious fingers finding blisters? are they contaigious? will wakefield find blisters on his knuckles because of beckett? will alyssa milano* go out with wakefield which will result in wakefield finding blisters somewhere else? Papi and Manny by themselves can help keep this team in contention though. Toronto did alot to help themselves. Sure they overpayed for burnett and ryan but they HAD to. Ryan is one of the best closers in the league so i'm not worried there. Burnett is a question mark and injured. No worries. They have halladay and a couple of nice young starters. The lineup is solid as hell too. Vernon Wells could have a monster year. Tampa Bay has the talent in the lineup.....but other then Kazmir, have NO.....and i mean NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....pitching. Looks like Texas East to me. I'm going to save Miguel Tejada the grief and spare Baltimore for now. at least palmeiro isn't around.......right? right?

AL Rookie of the Year- Francisco Liriano
NL rookie of the Year- Prince Fielder

AL Cy Young- Johan Santana
NL Cy Young- Roy Oswalt

AL MVP- Derek Jeter
NL MVP- David Wright

Baseball Power rankings so far:
1. chicago White Sox
2. NY Yanks
3. Oakland A's
4. St. Louis Cardinals
5. Minnesota Twins
6. Cleveland Indians
7. Toronto Blue Jays
8. Boston Red Sox
9. NY Mets
10. California Angels

World series Prediction-

Yankees over the Cardinals

I know many of y'all are probably like "WTF, you just said Chicago was the #1 team in the league." Settle down, bitch. I did say that. But bear in mind, the White Sox are the best team right now. Alot of things can happen between now and the end of the season. Roger Clemens might sign with the Yankees. or the Yankees might trade for some player that will fill a hole that they notice they have around midseason. The New York Yankees have an abundance of resources that are helped even more by the fact that there is no salary cap in Major League Baseball (who is Selig kidding with the luxury tax? Steinbrenner scoffs at the luxury tax. SCOFF SCOFF SCOFF). But that is another Blog for another time.

Speaking of another blog for another time, that's my cue to end this session. If you enjoyed this Gregg Popabitch joint, I will be blogging 2-3 times a week. Not all of it will be sports related as I will also be commenting on music, movies, politics, my daily Jihad, and anything else going on in my life. I just recently got "Fishscale" so a review of that will be up soon.